WEEK 1 - Weekend of AUGUST 29th
CLEMSON AT GEORGIA
The overhyped puppies from the East Georgia kennels open up
their flea-ridden water dish this weekend, hoping to take revenge on some
visiting felines from Pickens County. The
Upstate’s favorite Fruitball and his well-paid kittens neutered the barkers
last fall, and feel a repeat of the procedure is coming. But unlike last year, the home canines will
be wide awake.
The Cockabooster
Crystal Ball says... Georgia by 5
ARKANSAS AT AUBURN
The Porky Piggies from the Ozarks trot their swiny hooves onto
the Plains this Saturday, hoping to make the Opelika Scratching post into a
pigskin trough. The fightin’ Malzahns caught a lot of gridiron
serendipity last year, and the worm may turn before November. That won’t be the case in this matchup, and
the other white meat is on the menu.
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says... Auburn by 9
WISCONSIN VS. LSU
Some red-and-white rodents from Camp Randall roll into
Houston this weekend, hoping to burrow the Baton Rouge Felines into the Lone
Star State turf. The Big 10 needs a win by some group of rats this year in SEC
Country, but I doubt the Madison clan will get the job done.
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says... LSU by 12
WEST VIRGINIA VS. ALABAMA
The Georgia Dome used to be a regular stop for Nick Saban’s
elegant elephants, but too much lemonade at Toomer’s Corner changed that
up. The Crimson Clompers want two trips
to Atlanta this year, and feel they have the tusks to get it done. Some sister-kissers from Morgantown feel
differently and they’ll bring their backwoods guns to the Peach State to steal
some ivory. They better be shooting just
right.
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says... Alabama by 19
DORCHESTER ACADEMY AT CALHOUN ACADEMY
Chris Myers and his golden pirates sail into the St.
Matthews Jousting yards on Friday, hoping to raise the Jolly Roger and snatch
some pigskin gold. The home lancers feel
they have sharp weapons this fall, and Adam Jarecki will have the home
horsebackers ready to duel. Go with the
gallant gallopers in blue when this one is over.
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says... Calhoun Academy by 7
TEXAS A&M AT SOUTH CAROLINA
The Richland County Rooster Farm will be rocking on Thursday
night, hoping that some Cowboys from College Station get spurred early and
often. The visiting gauchos have no
intention of falling prey to the flock, and think they’ll be gigging some
poultry instead. The Head Ball Coach has
been clucking quite loudly this summer, which means he thinks the birds have
some tough plumage.
The Cockabooster
chooses South Carolina by 4
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