Friday, September 26, 2014

The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says...

Overall Record... 20-4
(Green are correct picks and red are incorrect picks)
  • Florida State defeated Clemson
  • Auburn defeated Kansas State
  • Georgia defeated Troy
  • Alabama defeated Florida
  • Calhoun Academy defeated Holly Hill Academy
  • South Carolina defeated Vanderbilt

WEEK 5 - Weekend of  SEPTEMBER 27th

Some wild pigs from the Ozark Troughs will scurry into College Station this weekend, hoping to root up some gridiron truffles at the 12th man corral.  The maroon cowboys have been throwing sharp ropes this fall and they believe this will be a pigskin rodeo with a pork flavor.  Go with the Gauchos here.  
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Texas A & M by 14

Mark Richt and his Athens Alpos will open the Red Clay Kennels this weekend, hoping to lock up some visiting militiamen from the Smoky Mountains.  The invading gunmen will take aim early, but run out of ammo pretty quickly.  The barking droolers should finish the affair with their flea collars in tact.  
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Georgia by 13

Some Red Stick Rovers will paw onto the plains this weekend, hoping the East Alabama Cat Farms lead to some gridiron treats.  The Opelika Felines have a loud hiss at Jordan-Hare, and they will put some scratches on the K9s early and often.  Another notch on the scratching post for the Fighting Malzahns.
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Auburn by 31

The Music City Boat Captains will sail out of Nashville this weekend, hoping to find port in bluegrass country.  The welcome they receive will be less than hospitable, as the Royal Blue Meow Men plan to show their claws early.  The Lexington Pride has shown some fight so far this fall, while the Opry Boaters have looked like tub toys. 
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Kentucky by 10

Some baby blue goats from the Tobacco Triangle roam into Death Valley this weekend, hoping to ram the Orange Dab-sters into pigskin oblivion.  The Purple Kittens have been declawed a couple of times this year and will pretty much bat at a ball of string until they get a visit from the Gamecocks. 
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Clemson by 28

Some Blue and Gold Horsemen from the Midlands will gallop west this weekend, hoping to run their lances through some Sandlapper Squires at the Pee Dee’s Camelot.  The crusading Paladins are a tough band of Chevaliers at home, so the Fighting Jaerckis better bring their sharpest weapons. 
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Calhoun Academy by 3 in a big upset

The Mighty Mattys will be in the midlands, hoping their pigskin purr is enough to debone Steve Spurrier and his Richland Roosters.  The Bluff Road Poultry Plant has been no place for felines in recent years, and they don’t want that to change.  Keeping the kittens out of the end zone litter box will be the key in this one. 

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Missouri by 4

When disappointment meets disappointment…

Can you honestly say you know what is going to happen on Saturday night?  Honestly?  This game with Mizzou is just riddled with question marks about both teams.  The Tigers are coming off of a brutal performance at home against Indiana, which ended in an upset loss.  Meanwhile those of us in Cocky-Land watched Vanderbilt turn Saturday night into an uncomfortable evening, as the hapless Commodores returned two kickoffs for touchdowns, and our defense made their 3rd string quarterback look like Joe Montana. 

I realize it’s a good thing that we now expect more from our team, and that we SHOULD be disappointed and overanalyzing every detail of every game now.  Those are signs of a really good program.  I also grasp the concept that Spurrier’s entertaining (and a pinch worrisome) rant on Saturday is something he’s done before in his career.  And yes, hopefully, everyone who says that he is doing that to fire us up and make sure we aren’t complacent for Missouri is right. 

But what if he’s not just doing that and he really believes we’re in trouble?  Personally, I think he’s right.  We are bad on defense.  That is NOT hyperbole.  That is the truth.  Has Missouri been a huge disappointment also?  Yes, and that’s why you can’t predict what will happen this weekend. 

But does Missouri’s offense have a pulse?  Are they going to field 11 players at a time when they have the ball?  If you answered “yes” to both of those questions, then they are going to score points and gain yardage on our defense.  You could take me, my 90+ year old great aunt, my 8-year old son and 8 feral cats and I bet we’d put up a couple of touchdowns against USC. For those of you screaming, “BUT WE WILL SCORE POINTS TOO” I agree 100%.  And we better if we don’t want it to be decided early. 

I know that Texas A & M is this year’s “glamour gal” over at ESPN and that our loss to them wasn’t nearly as bad as it looked that night.  I also understand that East Carolina is looking a whole lot like this year’s UCF.  So our “sputtering” performance in Game 2 may have just been beating a very good football team in a tight game. 

And certainly the highlight of this year already was finally doing to Georgia what they have done to other teams so many times over the years.  I don’t care who the better team was in that one as long as we were the winning team.  Show me a group of fans saying, “We should have won!” and I’ll show you the losing fans. 

Having said that, and no offense to Vandy but the Commodores are not a good team this year.  No, no, just stop yourself before you reflexively say whatever it is you’re about to…. No they are not a good team. 

None of this would really bother me except that I have yet to leave a game feeling good about our defense.  NowI never expected them to be the defense we’re used to but COME ON!  I wasn’t expecting them to look like 11 aardvarks on roller skates either. 

Yet here we are at 3-1 and in full control of our own destiny.  And yes, our opponent is doing the same soul-searching about themselves we are this week.  So let’s just hope they are in worse shape than we are. Otherwise they will find their scoring legs early and we could be looking at our 2nd home loss already in 2014. 

NEVERTHELESS….It’s a great time to be a Gamecock!  J

MORE MOO U News: Top 10 things tougher than Clemson’s remaining schedule before Carolina…

Top 10 things tougher than Clemson’s remaining schedule before Carolina…

10.       A plush teddy bear
9.         Melting Ice Cream
8.         Jello
7.         Hot Krispy Kreme Doughnuts
6.         Applesauce
5.         A baby’s face
4.         A bouncy house
3.         Dryer Lint
2.         A nap at the beach
1.         The Pillsbury Dough Boy

MOO U News: Dabo doubles down on “We’re 0-2 vs. Clemson”

Dabo Swinney made headlines for his odd comments again this week when he noted:  “We're 0-2 versus Clemson. That's the bottom line.”  After being ridiculed mercilessly in the media world following the comments, you may have expected the Upstate’s favorite “daffy dapster” to retract the words (or blame them on an overly tight necktie).  Instead, he is doubling down and digging the hole of craziness even deeper. 

“Back off Jack!  I meant that!  We’re 0-2 against Clemson and I never liked Clemson.  Clemson don’t do things right and frankly…Clemson is just not a nice person,” said Swinney who admits he’s under some heat over his losing streak to Clemson.  “I know I have to start beating Clemson if I am going to remain here at Clemson.”  Swinney went on to point out that although he is 0-2 against Clemson, that mark is still better than Clemson’s basketball record against North Carolina in Chapel Hill. 

When asked what he thought his record would be against Clemson when the year was over, Swinney stopped eating his pork ‘n’ beans for a moment and shrugged his shoulders.  “I guess it depends on how many times we end up playing Clemson.  I didn’t know they were on the schedule at all and we’ve played them twice already.”

The Crankshaft Gazette: Spurrier sits on front porch all week griping about Carolina

Coach Steve Spurrier was really ticked after Saturday night’s Carolina victory over Vanderbilt and sources say he spent most of the week just sitting on his porch complaining about the weather and the Gamecocks.

“We just ain’t any good.  We may be 3-1 and in 1st place in the East, but we ain’t no good.  Anyone argue with that?  We stink.  Period.  End of story.  I don’t want to hear no fairy tales about beating Missouri or Kentucky or Furman.  Sure we will.  And if a frog had wings his butt wouldn’t bump when he hops.  Got it?” 

Spurrier went on to say that he was sick of hearing about how good the show “The Blacklist” is too.  “Do you think I care if you like James Spader?  And why only 1 more season of Justified?  That show has plenty left in the tank.  Make fun of Raylan’s hat to me and you’ll find out what hurt really means.” 
Spurrier did point out that he enjoys the occasional Rush’s chili burger but he doesn’t want to be asked about it.  

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Cock-A-Booster Crystal ball says...

Overall Record... 15 - 3
(Green are correct picks and red are incorrect picks)
  • Florida defeated Kentucky
  • Oklahoma defeated Tennessee
  • Missouri defeated UCF
  • Missouri defeated Toledo
  • Calhoun Academy defeated Thomas Sumter Academy
  • South Carolina defeated Georgia


WEEK 4 - Weekend of  SEPTEMBER 20th

The Fighting Dabos will paw out of the Upstate this weekend, hoping to tear up the local tribe at the Bobby Bowden Pigskin Reservation.  The Tallahassee Teepees know the visiting felines are coming to the Sunshine State, but their main brave will be sitting in the wigwam until halftime.  When the Tiggers are getting a high dose of gridiron serendipity, it means lightning is going to strike. 
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Clemson by 4

Bill Snyder and Manhattan Meowers are ready for a Catfight on Thursday night, as they welcome in some Lee County Lions from down on the plains.  The war eagle kittens may not be at their normal scratching post, but they’ll be ready to go.  Watch out for these Thursday night road trips!  Who knows what they put in the catnip?             
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Auburn by 3

The Athens Alpos are whining and howling this week, as they found themselves neutered at the hands of the Old Ball Coach in Columbia.  Welcome in some Gallant Garnet Spartans from Lower Alabama, and you have the makings of a Trojan Horse.  Unfortunately for the Plucky Swordsmen, the Sanford Stadium Pups are wide awake and will be expecting the attack.         
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Georgia by 31

Will Muschamp and his Citrus Lizards will crawl out of the Gainesville Bog this weekend, and slither into the Pachyderm Pigskin Hut in Tuscaloosa.  The Elegant Elephants have not carried sharp tusks this fall and hope to strengthen the ivories with some Reptile desserts.  The home trumpeters will get tested but survive a surprisingly tight battle. 
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Alabama by 7

Don Shelley and Tripp Love will sail some Orangeburg County Buccaneers East on Friday, hoping to plunder some treasure at the St. Matthews Gridiron Jousting Yards.  The Garnet Bandits need a big chance to fly the Jolly Roger this fall or they will find themselves freebooter with no loot.  Go with the home Lancers in Blue. 
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Calhoun Academy by 7

Steve Spurrier and his re-puffed roosters flock into Nashville on Saturday, hoping to swarm all over Derek Mason’s Music City Boat Captains.  The Grand Ole Opry Admirals have been stuck in port most of the fall, but feel if they can dine on some Palmetto Poultry they can follow the tides to a new horizon.  The Columbia Cluckers should beware the “trap game” voyage.    
The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   South Carolina by (a very nervous) 3

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

GAMECOCK TIDBITS: Vanderbilt proposes Quiz Bowl format for Saturday night

Vanderbilt Head Coach Derek Mason thinks it’s unfair that his Commodores always have to beat their opponents on the football field.  In his mind that sends the wrong message on the importance of academics in College Athletics. 

In that spirit, Mason and his Nashville Boat Captains would prefer a College Quiz Bowl format for the upcoming match with the Gamecocks.  “What all-knowing Supreme Being or Board decided that football is the only way to determine who has the better football team?” said Mason, who was visibly frustrated that his Commodores never get to flex their academic muscles.  “Frankly, you can tell more about what kind of team you have by answering questions about the Modernization of China and Japan as opposed to who has the better running game."

Steve Spurrier answered back that Carolina would not agree to the proposed new format and that football rules would still be used.  "Well, then he is just scared.  Sure, maybe they can run, pass, and kick better than us.  Maybe they are the better 'team' in that sense.  But who knows more Euclidean Geometry? Vandy baby! Go Dores!"