GAMECOCK Tidbits: North Carolina asks for changes to format of game against Gamecocks

Tar Heels coach Larry Fedora, concerned for his players’ safety as they open the season in Columbia against the SEC’s South Carolina Gamecocks, has asked for some “mercy” changes to the format of the game.  “I can’t let my guys just go out and get slaughtered in a few weeks so I am asking for some reasonable changes to the game in the spirit of safety.”  

Fedora says instead of full-contact action with 11 players on each side, both schools should put 5 players out in just jerseys and shorts.  Also, the game should be played in an “arena” of some kind.  Finally, the Heels want to adjust the way you score points from the traditional “touchdown/field goal/safety” format.  “I think we should try and throw a rounded out sphere-like football through a metal rim attached to some netting.  And those types of touchdowns should only get you 2 or 3 points, depending on the kind of pass thrown that puts the ball through said rim.”  

If the Gamecocks won’t agree to the changes, Fedora says he will then challenge Steve Spurrier to see whose team can dance around the Maypole in the most creative way.