MOO U News: Dabo makes surprise endorsement for President

CLEMSON FANS...THIS IS A FAKE STORY...DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY!

FOR DABO...THE CHOICE IS SIMPLE!

Clemson Football Coach Dabo Swinney has taken the unusual step of endorsing a candidate for President this year, and this could change the landscape in several upstate farming communities ahead of Tuesday’s election.  Swinney decided he had to speak out after his role model and childhood hero was attacked by Mitt Romney.  As a result, the often incoherent former used car salesman, who is known as “Patient Crazy” by upstate psychiatrists, has offered his support to Big Bird. 

“Big Bird will make a great President.  Who do you think taught me not to go potty in the tub?  And that was three years ago!”  said Swinney who hopes others will follow his lead.  “That barking dog fellow over at Coastal needs to join me and do this too.”  

The news was a huge lift to Bird’s fledgling campaign, as the Children’s Television Workshop icon had not yet announced he wanted to serve.  “I am so happy Dabo likes me,” said Bird, who also wants other Palmetto State Coaches to come on board.  “But I know we won’t get Steve Spurrier.  He already likes a Garnet Bird in Columbia.  He’s so mean.  He will probably endorse The Count or Oscar the Grouch.”  

It really was an easy choice for Swinney.  Like Bird, Swinney is always out of touch with reality and saying silly and goofy things.  And the final requirement for obtaining an Honors Degree at Clemson to watch 50 hours of Sesame Street.  “Yes, we make sure that all of our honor grads understand their letters, shapes and numbers.  Now we can help them know who to vote for.  Or for all the fork-using fancy-pants folk, help them know for whom to vote.”  

Swinney closed the press conference by reminding everyone that his endorsement was brought to you by the letters n, u, and t, and by the number 1, representing his wins over Carolina.  (The funding of the announcement was made possible by a grant from The Chubb Group.)