CRANKSHAFT NEWS: Top 10 things Jadeveon Clowney will do if he sits out this season

THIS IS A FAKE STORY, DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS!

Sitting out the season?  What would he do to bide his time?

10.          Finish that macramé sweater he’s been knitting for Bruce Ellington
 

9.            Pen an essay illustrating the contrast between “conceit” as a literary device from the metaphysical poets and the theory of wit from English writers.
 

8.            Set out with an animal sidekick to solve mysteries in Florida.
 

7.            Become an expert of both the Carinosa dance of love and the bunny hop.
 

6.            Still find a way to sack Tajh Boyd even from the stands.
 

5.            That dream summer job as an auctioneer at Christie’s.
 

4.            Bake up the world’s zestiest hot vanilla soufflé.
 

3.            Watch every episode and movie from “Sex and the City.” (JD is such a Miranda)
 

2.            Join a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band

1.            Sudoku Puzzles!  (Medium Level)