MOO U News: Oscar snub outrages Dabo!

This is a fake story...please do not take it too serious!

Clemson head football coach Dabo Swinney says he did everything he could to win the best actor Oscar this year, but not even being nominated is just ridiculous. “Who did a better job of creating a character while completely making my audience buy into my fantasy as reality? If that’s not acting I don’t know what is.” Swinney especially resented not being on the list while Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman were. “The guy from Hangover? Seriously? He gets on there? That is just crap. Isn’t he the one the naked guy jumped on from the trunk? Or was that the fat guy with the beard? Either way I am better than him ANY day. And Hugh Jackman? Wolverine? Whatever dude!”

Swinney has used a combination of smoke-and-mirrors, a hefty recruiting “budget” in South Florida, a horrible ACC and several staged media rants to completely distract Tiger fans from the reality in which they exist. “I am more popular than Red Man Chaw in Pickens County and I lose every year to Carolina,” noted Swinney, who says he is just following the script of Tiger legend Frank Howard. “Coach Howard had a losing record against the Gamecocks and he has his name on the field! Who knows where they will be writing Dabo before long?”

When asked who should win the award since he is not eligible, Swinney says the stuffed bear from “Ted” made him cry. “Like a modern day Peter Fonda.”