Wednesday, May 1, 2013

MOO U News: History Channel to sponsor Clemson Football moving forward

This is a FAKE STORY...don't take it too seriously!

Clemson fans have become so obsessed with their past glory, a cable network is planning to channel that nostalgia into a ratings success.  The History Channel will now be showing old Tiger football games on Saturdays in the fall, so that Clemson fans will have something to watch other than pulling against the Gamecocks.  

Bracknell Schooler, head of rural uneducated programming decisions for the History Channel, feels the old games are a great fit for depressed Clemson fans.  “I hear graduates of Clemson talking about games in the 80s and 90s all the time so why not give them what they want?  The current ACC is just unwatchable so this will allow them to pretend they are still relevant.”  

There was some initial concern about showing Danny Ford era games due to bad language but where appropriate the comments will be “bleeped” out so families can enjoy. 

MOO U News: Wal-Mart and South Carolina to retire Dabo’s Sweatshirt

THIS IS A FAKE STORY...Please do not take it too seriously!

Dabo Swinney hasn’t coached very long in college football, but he has already left his mark.  The South Carolina Gamecocks and Wal-Mart plan to honor the “little Coach that could” this fall by jointly retiring his trademark off-the-rack sweatshirt.  “No Clemson football coach has ever done more for Gamecock football than old Yabble Dabbles,” said Steve Spurrier, who had a losing record against the Tigers before Dabo’s arrival.  “Yeah, I don’t know if we could have dominated them that way without Dabo’s help.” 

Also lavishing praise on Moo U’s head man was Wal-Mart, who says they can’t keep enough basic gray sweatshirts on their shelves in the upstate.  “We haven’t seen a run on an item like this since we offered expectant mothers in Pickens County 25% off on Skoal,” said Bubba T. Cletus, Wal-Mart Regional Manager for that section of the Palmetto State.