When Clemson loses its 5th straight game to South Carolina this November, Dabo Swinney will not be able to safely return to Tigertown. These feelings were best expressed by Clemson Scholar and strawberry picker Cletus Bellybutton of Six Mile. “He may think he’s the best moon pie in the still, but I ain’t choppin no more chesters. Calling a fig a banana don’t get you no fritters. Boy has to know that boy has to go.”
As a result
of that well-articulated threat, Swinney has been negotiating with officials at
Carolina to be given asylum in Columbia following the game. Dabo has done more than any Clemson coach
ever to help build the Gamecock football program, and he is confident he will
be protected. “They know how much I have
done for them and all I will need is a barn with some fresh hay. It’s all good.”
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