Clemson head football coach and dunking booth regular Dabo Swinney held an impromptu press conference this week, expressing outrage that Steve Spurrier will get a huge mural of himself on Williams-Brice Stadium. “Sure he’s beaten us a couple of times, but we beat Ohio State. They may not have cared about being there, but that’s beside the point. We still won it. Where’s my mural?” Clemson’s Athletic Director Danny Rattlecoldfish says the Tigers will give Swinney something even better than the large picture of Spurrier. “Yes, we’re going to ask our Sororities to sculpt a 100-foot statue of Dabo out of real upstate manure. The sheer size and smell of it will send a pungent and potent message that anything USC can do, we can do better.”
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| IF STATUE IS NOT POSSIBLE, THEN A MURAL LIKE THIS JUST MIGHT WORK! |
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