Monday, September 23, 2013

CLAWS vs. PAWS - Week 4 Scoreboard




Both The Cock-A-Booster and The TigerSwag played to another 3-3 tie this week...Maybe these two need to fire their offensive coordinators and go to the the "Hurry-Up-No-Huddle" approach. Both picked Clemson to win and to cover the 14.5 point spread.  Clemson won the game but they did not cover the spread. Well let's get ready for this weekend...Both teams will be back in action!  Here are your match-ups!


Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Cock-A-Booster's Crystal Ball says...

DATE: Games for the week of September 21, 2013
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Troy at Mississippi State
The garnet Spartans from Lower Alabama march into Magnolia Country on Saturday, prepared to capture some maroon K9s on a leash.  The home howlers have been neutered so far this fall, they hope to regain their bark instead.  The puppies will survive but not before some unexpected howling is heard from the water dish.   

The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Mississippi State by 3
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Tennessee at Florida
The Knoxville Hillbilly Brigade will invade the Citrus Bogs this weekend, hoping to put some Gainesville Crocodiles on the gridiron griddle.  The home lizards have some swampy traps set for the attack, and they should withstand the Smokey Mountain Muskets. 
       
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Florida by 8
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North Texas at Georgia
Mark Richt and his overrated howlers open up the Athens Alpo Hut on Saturday, and they plan to sink their jowls into Denton’s angriest emerald birds.  The road chirpers may be in a fowl mood but they won’t have long enough talons to make the barkers surrender.
    
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Georgia by 17
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Arkansas at Rutgers
Bret Bielema and his red piglets squeal out of the Ozark trough on Saturday, hoping to root up some truffles at Bon Jovi Stadium.  The Exit 12 Cavaliers have some tough lances in their jousting den,  and they are hoping the odor from the shore is even offensive to those of porcine ilk. 
 
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Arkansas by 5
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Auburn at LSU
The refurbished felines of Gus Malzhan take their new and improved kitten show into the Bayou this weekend, hoping to be the strongest cats in the Red Stick Scratching Post.  Les Miles will have the Baton Roues Boozers whipped into a frenzy, but they better watch out.  War Eagle may not be fully healed, but they have some pigskin claws to show off. 
 
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... LSU by 7
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Clemson at NC State
Dabo the crazy and his purple kittens prowl into Fake BBQ land on Thursday and they’ll find a pack of Raleigh Coyotes waiting to pounce.  The lucky lions are leading a charmed life so far this fall, and that should continue for a little bit longer.  The Carter-Finlay howlers will make some noise early, but get carved up as the night rolls along.      
 
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Clemson by 24
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In one other game...The CRYSTAL BALL says go with...Missouri, Vandy, Arkansas, Texas A&M, and Alabama



Wednesday, September 18, 2013

CLAWS vs. PAWS - Week 4


Weekend of September 21, 2013




COCK-A-BOOSTER:

If this were a normal year I would have this circled as a stub your toe game for Clemson, but the Tiggers are still leading a charmed life right now and State’s QB is out.  Basically, the Klimpletons are down to 2 meaningful games on the slate for this year.  The good news for them is that thanks to getting Jawja at home where their QB always falters, and catching LSU napping in the Peach the whole world is drinking the orange kool-aid. 
The wake-up call will have to come later to end that fantasy, but for this week it will live on.  Tajh Boyd will get to talk about himself in the third person a lot and Dabo the crazy will continue to hop around like a jack-rabbit on steroids. 
State will try and make a nice showing early and maybe even capture an early lead.  But Sammy is probably on coke instead of pot right now to make sure he is extra-fast.  Too much South Florida purchased talent from the Tiggers spells a big number on the board when this one is complete.

Clemson 44
NC State 20


THE TIGERSWAG:

When Clemson travels to Raleigh for their Thursday night ACC opener, Clemson will be battling a number of foes.  First, and foremost, Clemson will do business with the Wolfpack.  Secondly, they must battle themselves.  Many of this week's questions have centered on the 2011 game, where a Top 10 Clemson team laid an absolute egg.  More than a few of these players were on that, and they're having to relive that game.  Thirdly, Clemson will be battling the national media.  The term "Clemsoning" or "Pulling a Clemson" was coined a few years ago and the Tigers opening weekend and fast start has only added fuel to the fire as the world waits for Clemson to do something every other team in college football does - lose.

And with all this negativity, a perfect storm seems to be brewing over Raleigh.  Throw in the fact that NC State plays really well at Carter-Finley, they have a history of pulling upsets (the last ranked team to play at CF was also ranked #3 - and left with an L), and the locals are getting behind the team; and you can see why some people may be worried.

But Clemson catches a break by playing NC State so early in the season.  They have a new coach, injured QB, and lack of confidence stemming for their narrow escape over Richmond.  Meanwhile, Clemson comes in with dreams of Pasadena and riding the momentum of the Georgia win.

If Clemson can find an offensive rhythm early, this game could be over by halftime.  If the Clemson defense can control the line of scrimmage and make some stops, this game could put Boyd, Watkins, & Co. back atop the Heisman polls.  If Clemson can take the crowd out of the game, the SEC booth may be forced to praise a non-SEC team.  If Clemson gets a few turnovers, a really special season begins to take shape.

If Clemson doesn't do those things.  If they don't find a rhythm, if they don't get stops, if they get owned at the line of scrimmage, if they give the ball up rather than take, if they keep the crowd alive, then 2011 is very capable of happening again.  And we will need to learn to deal with the cliché "Pulling a Clemson".

But don't worry about the latter, as Clemson comes out focused and ready to fulfill their dreams.  They are aggressive on offense and attack on defense.  They set the tone early and continue to pile up big numbers, and the nation takes notice.

This year's Textile Bowl goes the way of the orange.  And big.

Orange Textiles 44
Red Textiles 20
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READ MORE FROM THE COCK-A-BOOSTER HERE.
READ MORE FROM THE TIGER SWAG HERE.

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Monday, September 16, 2013

CLAWS vs. PAWS - Week 3 Scoreboard

It doesn't take a Vandy grad to figure out the score of CLAWS vs. PAWS this week.  Add 3 points to both sides and you get...



Both The Cock-A-Booster and The TigerSwag played to a 3-3 tie this week.. Both picked South Carolina to win and to cover the 11 point spread.  The Doors had other ideas...scoring a few touchdowns in the last quarter to cost both of our fearless pickers 7 points each.  So, add three to each side and The Cock-A-Booster continues to maintain his 10 point margin going into this week's game....speaking of this week...only Clemson is playing.  USC will be taking a week off.



Clemson is playing at NC State and is favored by 14.5 points.

Top 10 signs Vanderbilt Fans are in your stadium...


10. They are amazed and frightened by an “upper deck” at a football stadium
9. Their flasks are filled with P. G. Tips and Typhoo instead of Bourbon 
8. In lieu of a game program, Vandy fans pass timeouts reading Tolstoy.
7. Concerned that concession stands had no spreadable marmalades or Minnie Pearl hats.
6. Story after story about how they talk trash to Duke about football. 
5. Numerous references to UT-Knoxville as a state-owned landfill.
4. Following the game, their only concern was pointing out that they played as well as any Ivy League school would have. 
3. Claims that God could never be a PhD at Vandy because he only had one publication and no references.
2. They were excited when U2 came to Vanderbilt Stadium, because they were only a 7-point underdog that night. 

1. Think James Franklin’s glasses are “retro-cute.”

Carolina Student Section left game early due to Geopolitical Concerns


Gamecock students came under fire from Connor Shaw and others for leaving the Vanderbilt game early on Saturday night.  However, an informal exit poll showed that international concerns were the reason.  “Vladimir Putin’s recent Op-Ed in the New York Times was very disturbing,” noted Engineering Major and Sophomore Caitlyn Vending.  “I just couldn’t sit there and continue to watch football knowing that Al Qaeda is telling Syrian fighters to shun secularists.  I wanted to discuss this with some classmates in Five Points immediately.” 

Junior Kenneth Denimbrosky agreed, saying that everyone on campus is just nervous about the nation’s foreign policy.  “Hey, India is retesting missles that can reach China and Hurricane Ingrid is forming in Mexico.  That is why we bailed.  Not because we want to get hammered at Group Therapy or Locals.” 

The strangest season I have ever seen? Maybe.



Let’s be clear about last night’s win over Vanderbilt by USC…the Gamecocks were in total control of the game from start to finish.  That includes both building the lead AND tearing it down with mistakes.  So with all due respect to the Commodores, they had very little to say about what happened.  When we were focused and playing like we can, we were up 28-0 and they didn’t have 100 yards.  Now, once we decided to start giving away touchdowns like candy, of course it got tight.  Anyway, that was a Vandy team that had 14 seniors starting out of 22 and they took advantage of our blunders. 

So after three games and about a million exhaustive hours of listening to Freudian-like psycho-analysis of the Gamecocks from the National Sports media, we are right where most of us thought we would be.  Our 2-1 record includes a loss to a desperate team on the road with a Senior QB who HAD to play a perfect game against us and did. 

So now we’ll get two weeks of folks guaranteeing we will lose to Central Florida because they beat Penn State.  And, yes, if we go to Orlando, make a fresh bucket of unforced errors and get all “panicky” then of course we will lose.  More likely is that we will continue to get better, those mistakes will be reduced and we start rolling off a few wins. 

News flash to anyone who couldn’t read a depth chart before the season started:  We are the youngest football team in the United States.  That’s not theory or spin, that is a fact.  We have less than 10 seniors on the entire depth chart.  It may be as few as 5. Possibly 6 but certainly less than 10.  Assuming our injured senior center returns, we will lose 6 starters for next fall.  And yes I am including Clowney in that number even though he is a junior.  6. 

So why is everyone so unbelievably STUNNED that these young guys have had the UNMITIGATED TEMERITY to make a few errors as they get a few games under their belts?  I expect that kind of reaction from ESPN and our deluded neighbors from the northwest, but I mean Gamecock fans.  Look if you were one of the Carolina folks who swallowed the tripe that USC would not in any way miss losing Devin Taylor, Melvin Ingram, Devnonte Holloman, Antonio Allen, Stephon Gilmore, etc, etc, then I am sorry.  I have no  doubt the next great names to add to that list are coming but my goodness it takes a few weeks of experience to get rolling. 

We are just a few years removed from a program that used to have joyous celebrations over 7-win seasons.  I know because I have all the commemorative DVDs and tapes.  And now, instead of enjoying this 24-5 streak we are enduring it like it’s a root canal.  How about let’s just enjoy the ride as our younger guys grow?  What a long, strange season it has been and will continue to be if we don’t. 
Lighten up Carolina fans.  It’s a great time to be a Gamecock!

Friday, September 13, 2013

CLAWS vs. PAWS - Week 3




Weekend of September 14, 2013





COCK-A-BOOSTER:
The typical overreaction to the Gamecocks losing at Georgia mirrors only the overhyping of Carolina heading into the season.  The same thing is happening up in Tigger-Town and that will be fun to deal with later but I digress…  Anyway, what it all means is that everyone has now just completely WRITTEN OFF USC and left us for dead.  Frankly, I think that is where we need to always be because we play a lot better under those circumstances. 

So does that mean I am predicting a blow-out on Saturday?  Kind of, yes. First of all, Shaw is a MUCH different quarterback at home as I’ve discussed.  He doesn’t lose in Columbia.  Add in that he made the key mistake in Athens last week despite an otherwise GREAT effort and I bet he’ll come out slinging.  I know we have questions about the defense and as predicted they are mostly centered on our brand new linebackers.  The Cockabooster was exhaustively trying to talk about that to no avail in the summer.  And Vandy has over 15 seniors starting so this is an experienced Commodores team.  

While my buddy over at The Tiger Swag has been getting intoxicated off of the fool’s gold punch old Dabbles is peddling up yonder, I have quietly built a 10-point lead in this contest so if I am going to gamble, this is the week.  I think Carolina wins after a very uncomfortable 1st half.  We will get a late score that will cover the spread.  Carolina is only going to get better after Athens and it will start on Saturday.  

South Carolina 34, Vandy 21


THE TIGERSWAG:

Storylines this week:
  • USC fans finding more excuses than yards they gave up
  • Eillington mad at the sun for shining each day
  • Clowney upset at defensive coaches for costing him the Heisman
  • Defensive coaches mad at each other for having to coach with Spurrier
  • Spurrier not sure Vandy is maintaining proper standards.  No response from Vandy
  • Ron Morris not sure Spurrier is maintaining proper standards
  • Spurrier response? Fire Ron Morris for destroying the "Sticks and Stones" myth
  • The State giving Ron Morris a pseudo bonus by removing him from the USC beat
  • The State bowing to journalistic pressure and forcing Morris back on the USC beat

Oh, and by the way, Vanderbilt is coming to town, which nobody seems to be talking about.  And this ain't your mama's Vandy...

This game won't be close.  Either USC uses the pain and embarrassment from last week to completely destroy Vandy.  Or Vandy strolls into Billy Brice and out of town with the keys to Cocky's jail cell.  Either way, it won't be much of a game.

Fortunately for USC, there is too much talent at the line of scrimmage for Vandy to pull the upset.  Spurrier 2.0 will run the ball twice as much as he throws, and the ground game will wear out Franklin's Commodores.

Now, we said the same thing back in 2006 & 2007, and USC managed to lose those game, but I don't think it will happen this year.

South Carolina 31, Vanderbilt 13

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READ MORE FROM THE COCK-A-BOOSTER HERE.
READ MORE FROM THE TIGER SWAG HERE.

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Thursday, September 12, 2013

The Cock-A-Booster's CRYSTAL BALL says...

DATE: Games for the week of September 14, 2013
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Louisville at Kentucky
Some stout red birds from horse country flock into hoops-ville this weekend, hoping to peck away at some wilting kittens.  The Adolph Rupp Meows will come out scratching and will purr a bit early, but more fur will be shed than feathers when the day is done.  

The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Louisville by 15
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Tennessee at Oregon
Some Smokey Mountain Hillbillies will be invading the Donald Duck Western Spa on Saturday, hoping to aim their muskets at some web-footed waddlers.  The pot-smoking   quackers have very strong bills, and they will withstand the attack with little effort.  The Autzen Pond will barely see any ripples in the water, and the Portland Plumage will remain in tact.  
       
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Oregon by 31
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Mississippi State at Auburn 
The Maroon Magnolia Jowlers will trot out of Starkville on this weekend, ready to paw into the East Alabama Scratching Post and capture the home kittens.  The Gritty Gusses are hissing quite loudly so far, and that just might continue.  Oh my goodness, could we see, those old War Eagles perched with win #3?
    
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Auburn by 5
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Ole Miss at Texas
Mack Brown and his de-horned cows open up the Austin Ranches this weekend, hoping to add some Hot Toddy to the feed mix.  Colonel Sanders is carrying a sturdier walking stick of late, and has no intention of just rocking on the porch.  Could be steak on the menu when this one is done.
 
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Ole Miss in a mild upset by 4
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Alabama at Texas A & M
Nick Saban and his elegant elephants storm into College Station on Saturday, hoping to show the home gauchos their ivory hunt last fall was a fluke.  The red herd knows how to lay a trampling on folks, and if the cowpokes aren’t careful, they will get gored.  The Cockabooster is buying the home hype on this one. 
 
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... Texas A & M by 2 in a big upset
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Vanderbilt at South Carolina
James Franklin and the Nashville Boat Captains sail into Columbia this weekend, hoping to dock their pigskin carrier at the Bluff Road Chicken Plant.  The head ball coach knows the skippers are coming, and the puffed-up poultries will not be a welcoming port.  After some early discomfort, the home birds should leave with their wings in tact.   
 
The Cock-A-Booster Crystal Ball says... South Carolina by 13
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In one other game...The CRYSTAL BALL says go with...Arkansas over Southern Miss.