Monday, June 3, 2013

CLEMSON "TOP TEN"--- Top 10 Regional Excuses from Tiger Fans



10.  Gamecock fans are mean

9.  It was unfair to be put in Liberty’s regional

8.  The Circle K near the Clemson hotel had a Moon Pie/Swisher Sweet special

7.  The IRS has been targeting Jack Leggett

6.  They don’t sell Skoal at Carolina Stadium

5.  They played better "walk-up" music before Liberty’s at-bats (this one was actually stated by Tiger media folks)

4.  Unrest in the Middle East

3.  No one should have to play baseball on Wayne Brady’s birthday

2.  Got too stirred up because Tony Stewart was finally winning a race

1.  “WE ARE YOUNG!”  

Leggett pulls a Clemson…again

When the decision was made to send Clemson to Columbia for the baseball regionals again this year, you just knew that somehow it would end badly for Jack Leggett.   Liberty may very well end up winning the regional and beat Carolina as well, but their knocking off Jack-Leg was purely hysterical theatre. 

Leggett, who at age 86 is going back down the “well we are young” excuse path, has been given so many opportunities to slay the Gamecock demons; you would think one of them would go his way.  First were the two meetings in Omaha where Carolina twice came from the losers’ bracket to beat the Tiggers and crush the championship dreams of those in orange.  The 2nd time of course ended with USC winning their first of 2 national titles. 

Then Clemson was set to match up with USC in the Super-Regionals a couple of years ago but lost to UConn of all teams.  After Tiger fans immediately made the case that UConn was obviously the best team in the nation, the Huskies were destroyed by Carolina the following week and the Gamecocks were off to Omaha. 

Last year, Clemson was excited to be given a chance at full redemption by being put into the Columbia Regionals.  Two losses to USC soon followed and the Gamecocks would eventually go back to Omaha again. 

Which brings us to this weekend.  To be fair to the Tigers, I don’t think they were happy about getting sent back to “The Ray” but they again decided it was a chance at full redemption.  So they lose to Liberty twice and go home spanked and embarrassed…again.  The formula for avoiding losing to Carolina is clear:  lose before you have to play them. 

Old Jack-Leg seriously needs to think about moving on and leaving his replacement a good hand to work with.  Clemson actually does have some awesome young talent thanks to Leggett doing a “Cocoon”-esque run at recruiting like a young pup one last time in his twilight.  If he stays to coach them, then he better win a title in the next two years.  Otherwise he will permanently damage what right now is a pretty good coaching legacy. 

Seriously, if it weren’t for Ray Tanner, Jack’s coaching history looks pretty good.  He has given the Klimpletons some of their finest athletic moments ever.  But because the Tanner era happened, he has become The Man of La Mancha, ripped with madness and paranoia.  Losing those two games to Liberty will only exacerbate things too. 

Leggett may be Clemson’s Eeyore and Dabo their Tigger but one thing is clear.  You could just rename Pickens County the 100-acre woods because it is one big Winnie the Pooh fantasy world up there at this point.   


It’s a great time to be a Gamecock!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

MOO U News: History Channel to sponsor Clemson Football moving forward



This is a FAKE STORY...don't take it too seriously!


Clemson fans have become so obsessed with their past glory, a cable network is planning to channel that nostalgia into a ratings success.  The History Channel will now be showing old Tiger football games on Saturdays in the fall, so that Clemson fans will have something to watch other than pulling against the Gamecocks.  


Bracknell Schooler, head of rural uneducated programming decisions for the History Channel, feels the old games are a great fit for depressed Clemson fans.  “I hear graduates of Clemson talking about games in the 80s and 90s all the time so why not give them what they want?  The current ACC is just unwatchable so this will allow them to pretend they are still relevant.”  

There was some initial concern about showing Danny Ford era games due to bad language but where appropriate the comments will be “bleeped” out so families can enjoy. 


MOO U News: Wal-Mart and South Carolina to retire Dabo’s Sweatshirt


THIS IS A FAKE STORY...Please do not take it too seriously!


Dabo Swinney hasn’t coached very long in college football, but he has already left his mark.  The South Carolina Gamecocks and Wal-Mart plan to honor the “little Coach that could” this fall by jointly retiring his trademark off-the-rack sweatshirt.  “No Clemson football coach has ever done more for Gamecock football than old Yabble Dabbles,” said Steve Spurrier, who had a losing record against the Tigers before Dabo’s arrival.  “Yeah, I don’t know if we could have dominated them that way without Dabo’s help.” 

Also lavishing praise on Moo U’s head man was Wal-Mart, who says they can’t keep enough basic gray sweatshirts on their shelves in the upstate.  “We haven’t seen a run on an item like this since we offered expectant mothers in Pickens County 25% off on Skoal,” said Bubba T. Cletus, Wal-Mart Regional Manager for that section of the Palmetto State.    


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

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MOO U News coming this week!

We will have some MOO U news from upstate starting tomorrow! - STAY TUNED!

The Crankshaft Gazette: Young Gamecock Fans getting tired of 9 and 11-win seasons




THIS IS A MADE UP (FAKE) STORY...Do not take it too serious!
As a matter of fact...don't take anything we say too serious!


 
Jeremy Frakline
(OK, Not Really! - Just picture we found!

Yes, we know he is probably not 7!)

Jeremy Frankline of Elgin is a 7-year old Gamecock fan who loves football in Columbia but he’s had enough of settling for 11-win seasons.  “I’ve been watching football since I was 4 years old,” said Frankline, who is ready for something better.  “I mean it’s nice to be in the Top 10 all the time, winning bowl games and destroying Clemson every year, but it’s time for more.”  

Frankline bristles at the idea that he has never faced adversity like older Gamecock fans.  “How can you say that?  We actually lost to Clemson when I was 2 years old, and we only won 9 games three years ago.  I’ve been through the rough times.”  

Jeremy laughs when his Dad tries to tell him about the past.  The elder Frankline points out that as of 2005, he had lived through a 8-26 stretch against the Tigers.  “My Dad was born in 1971.  That is freaking old dude.  I don’t care what happened in ancient times like that.  That was back when Cher was in her 60s.

The Crankshaft Gazzette: Steve Spurrier thinks he could beat Clowney in just about anything


THIS IS A MADE UP (FAKE) STORY...Do not take it too serious!
As a matter of fact...don't take anything we say too serious!




Gamecock football Coach Steve Spurrier acknowledges that standout Defensive End Jadeveon Clowney is a special athlete, but he still thinks he could take him.  “Yeah, old Clowney is a good one, no question.  But I think the Head Ball Coach could still take him.  He’s no Spurrier.”  

Clowney is being touted by some as a long-shot Heisman Award candidate, but Spurrier says that isn’t going to happen.  “Nah, you can’t do enough on defense to win the Heisman so he won’t get it.  You need to be a quarterback from Tennessee who plays at Florida to really be a Heisman winner.  Somebody like me.”  

Spurrier admits that Clowney is younger than him and maybe in a little bit better shape, but that wouldn’t be enough to overcome the aura he gives off as Spurrier.  “He’ll be a good one, but I am here to remind him he’s got a long way to go.  Clowney is Lex Luger or Arn Anderson maybe, but I’m the Nature Boy of College Football.”   

WE ARE BACK! - After a short break!

Okay, my friends, I am rested and ready to return to the Cockabooster. We will be posting some new material in the upcoming weeks!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

COCK-A-BOOSTER ON SPRING BREAK!


We are taking a short break from the BLOG...so, please check back in late April.