The Cock-A-Booster Crystal ball says...

Overall Record... 15 - 3
83% CORRECT!

RESULTS FROM LAST WEEK:  5-1

(Green are correct picks and red are incorrect picks)

• Florida defeated Kentucky
• Oklahoma defeated Tennessee
• Missouri defeated UCF
• Missouri defeated Toledo
• Calhoun Academy defeated Thomas Sumter Academy
• South Carolina defeated Georgia

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK'S GAMES...

WEEK 4 - Weekend of  SEPTEMBER 20th

CLEMSON AT FSU

The Fighting Dabos will paw out of the Upstate this weekend, hoping to tear up the local tribe at the Bobby Bowden Pigskin Reservation.  The Tallahassee Teepees know the visiting felines are coming to the Sunshine State, but their main brave will be sitting in the wigwam until halftime.  When the Tiggers are getting a high dose of gridiron serendipity, it means lightning is going to strike. 

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Clemson by 4

AUBURN AT KANSAS STATE

Bill Snyder and Manhattan Meowers are ready for a Catfight on Thursday night, as they welcome in some Lee County Lions from down on the plains.  The war eagle kittens may not be at their normal scratching post, but they’ll be ready to go.  Watch out for these Thursday night road trips!  Who knows what they put in the catnip?             

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Auburn by 3

TROY AT GEORGIA

The Athens Alpos are whining and howling this week, as they found themselves neutered at the hands of the Old Ball Coach in Columbia.  Welcome in some Gallant Garnet Spartans from Lower Alabama, and you have the makings of a Trojan Horse.  Unfortunately for the Plucky Swordsmen, the Sanford Stadium Pups are wide awake and will be expecting the attack.         

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Georgia by 31

FLORIDA AT ALABAMA

Will Muschamp and his Citrus Lizards will crawl out of the Gainesville Bog this weekend, and slither into the Pachyderm Pigskin Hut in Tuscaloosa.  The Elegant Elephants have not carried sharp tusks this fall and hope to strengthen the ivories with some Reptile desserts.  The home trumpeters will get tested but survive a surprisingly tight battle. 

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Alabama by 7

HOLLY HILL ACADEMY AT CALHOUN ACADEMY

Don Shelley and Tripp Love will sail some Orangeburg County Buccaneers East on Friday, hoping to plunder some treasure at the St. Matthews Gridiron Jousting Yards.  The Garnet Bandits need a big chance to fly the Jolly Roger this fall or they will find themselves freebooter with no loot.  Go with the home Lancers in Blue. 

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Calhoun Academy by 7

SOUTH CAROLINA AT VANDERBILT

Steve Spurrier and his re-puffed roosters flock into Nashville on Saturday, hoping to swarm all over Derek Mason’s Music City Boat Captains.  The Grand Ole Opry Admirals have been stuck in port most of the fall, but feel if they can dine on some Palmetto Poultry they can follow the tides to a new horizon.  The Columbia Cluckers should beware the “trap game” voyage.    

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   South Carolina by (a very nervous) 3

GAMECOCK TIDBITS: Vanderbilt proposes Quiz Bowl format for Saturday night

Vanderbilt Head Coach Derek Mason thinks it’s unfair that his Commodores always have to beat their opponents on the football field.  In his mind that sends the wrong message on the importance of academics in College Athletics. 

In that spirit, Mason and his Nashville Boat Captains would prefer a College Quiz Bowl format for the upcoming match with the Gamecocks.  “What all-knowing Supreme Being or Board decided that football is the only way to determine who has the better football team?” said Mason, who was visibly frustrated that his Commodores never get to flex their academic muscles.  “Frankly, you can tell more about what kind of team you have by answering questions about the Modernization of China and Japan as opposed to who has the better running game."

Steve Spurrier answered back that Carolina would not agree to the proposed new format and that football rules would still be used.  "Well, then he is just scared.  Sure, maybe they can run, pass, and kick better than us.  Maybe they are the better 'team' in that sense.  But who knows more Euclidean Geometry? Vandy baby! Go Dores!"

MOO U News: Dabo says...“Dawgs had a different backup punter in Columbia”

Clemson football coach and world’s best thistle eater Dabo Swinney insisted this week that Clemson losing to Georgia and Carolina beating Georgia means nothing. Last fall, when the reverse happened, Swinney bounced around the Palmetto State like a hyper monkey on Jolt hollering to anyone who would listen that it was a sign that Clemson was better than USC.

Dabo says Georgia was a completely different team in Columbia against Carolina than they were for the opening week. “Yeah, they had a different back-up punter in the 2nd game, and were using brand new water bottles on the sidelines. Oh, and I heard they had a new person driving the bus to the game. Completely different clubs.”

The Tigers’ head man went on to point out that if the Gamecocks and Bulldogs played each other 10 times, Clemson would have won 5 of them.

Love watching Georgia whine!

(For my Georgia friends, family and neighbors who I love, this column is not directed at you.  You may just want to come back to the Cockabooster next week.  Thanks!)

In 1980, I watched my Gamecocks on national television for the first time as Big George Rogers and Carolina went to Georgia to hold “the Battle of the South.”  We only gave up one touchdown to the Dawgs that day in the form of a long run by Herschel Walker.  Sitting poised deep in Georgia territory late, victory looked imminent.  A fumble by Rogers and a roughing the punter penalty changed that into a loss.  Final Score:  UGA 13, USC 10.  

Then in 1987, I was in the stands in Athens, enjoying every second as Todd Ellis, Sterling Sharpe, Kevin White, Harold Green and others just dominated Georgia between the hedges.   Up and down the field we would roll, piling up nearly 400 yards while holding the Dawgs to under 250.  The Silver Britches only had two decent drives the entire afternoon.  One ended in their only touchdown and the other was a field goal.   Well, six times inside the Georgia Red Zone netted us only two field goals including the final knife to the gut when we fumbled inside the 1 yard line near the end of the game!  Final Score:  UGA 13, USC 6.  

Then there was 2002, when David Pollack got his fluke touchdown (their only one of the day) and we were at the goalline set to score the game winner when we fumbled an option pitch.  Final score:  13-7 Georgia.  No one has gotten more phantom calls, lucky breaks and overall good fortune than the mangy mongrels from Athens.  

Saturday afternoon, “Lady Luck” finally smiled on the Gamecocks against the Alpos as you know.  Dylan Thompson looked masterful just destroying an inept Georgia secondary.  Brandon Wilds plowed through Uggah in the second half like a machine.  Yes, if the pups had run Gurley on the goalline late they likely would have taken the lead.  They didn’t.  Yes it was a very close call on the holding that cost them a TD.  It happens that way some time.  

Poor play calling + failure to take advantage of chances + timely close penalties not going your way = a losing team.  That was UGA and crew this weekend, but it had been us in the past.   Being on this side of the equasion is MUCH better.  

If you read this site, you know that I always love the old Frank Howard quote:  “I don’t want the best team to win.  I want MY team to win.”  And my team won on Saturday!  So keep on howling at that moon my Georgia friends.  Now you know how it feels.  

It’s a great time to be a Gamecock!  

THE CRYSTAL BALL SAYS...

Overall Record... 10 - 2
83% CORRECT!

RESULTS FROM LAST WEEK:  5-1

(Green are correct picks and red are incorrect picks)

• Clemson defeated SC State
• Auburn defeated San Jose State
• Ole Miss defeated Vanderbilt
• Missouri defeated Toledo
• Calhoun Academy defeated Lee Academy
• South Carolina defeated East Carolina

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK'S GAMES...

WEEK 3 - Weekend of  SEPTEMBER 13th

KENTUCKY at FLORIDA

The Citrus Lizards will open up the Sunshine State Swampland on Saturday, hoping to take some Bluegrass Kittens for a pigskin death roll.  The Commonwealth Cats have no intention of taking a murky bath while in Gainesville, and hope to claw up the home snakes instead.  The hide on these particular chompers will prove to be too thick.     

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...  Florida by 20

TENNESSEE at OKLAHOMA

The Smoky Mountain Militiamen will rumble into Norman this weekend, hoping to assault the local schooner operators before they can mount a defense.  But the home prairie folk rarely get caught napping, and they have some strong weapons to defend the camp.   Boomer Sooner vs. Rocky Top may be a heated matchup in karaoke world, but not on the gridiron.              

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Oklahoma by 13

UCF at MISSOURI

The Orlando Warriors will gallop into the Midwest Kitten Farms on Saturday, hoping to put the local felines on a skewer.  The Kitty-Cats have sharp claws in Columbia West, and believe the visitors armor can be punctured with little effort.  The Show-me-State Meow Men will prevail when the day is done.          

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Missouri by 10

CALHOUN ACADEMY AT THOMAS SUMTER ACADEMY

Troy Kessinger and his Congaree Pattons open up the Dalzell Training Base on Friday, ready to instruct some visiting horsemen from St. Matthews on Pigskin Protocol.   The St. Matthews Lancers have speared two victims so far this fall, and Adam Jarecki will have his Gold and Blue Gallopers set for another duel.  Should be a 3-0 slate for the Cavs as they return to the Bert Weeks Press Box. 

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Calhoun Academy by 7

GEORGIA at SOUTH CAROLINA

Mark Richt and his Athens Alpos rumble into the Midlands Saturday afternoon, hoping to sink their overhyped jowels into the Columbia Cluckers.  The Bluff Road Poultry Plant has been vulnerable to attack so far this fall, and the Head Ball Coach knows it could happen again.  Everything points to a Pigksin Romp  for the Doggies, but will the Pups choke on the chicken bones? 

The Cockabooster Crystal Ball says...   Georgia by 1 

Top 10 things about East Carolina fans visting your stadium…

10.          Visiting cheerleader zone has to have the Beech Nut residue hosed off. 
9.            High number of soiled jorts in the visitors’ restroom trash cans. 
8.            The lingering smell in that corner at W-B reminds you of Athens. 
7.            Prize winning mullets on every child. 
6.            Their creative ways of screaming  “Well we should have won,” as they leave. 
5.            The thousands of Moon Pie wrappers and empty Copenhagen tins.
4.            Record weekend sales for Huddle and Waffle Houses.
3.            They hate the Big 3 North Carolina schools more than we do. 
2.            Explaining to them that “twerking” is not a way of cleaning ears with Q-tips. 
1.            Ron Morris gets a chance for a family reunion.     

Other News from CAROLINA... Spurrier and Dabo confirm: “None of our nude photos were hacked”

With Hollywood reeling from the recent hacking of celebrity nude photographs from some phones, Steve Spurrier and Dabo Swinney were quick to assure Gamecock and Tiger fans they had not been victimized.  No nude photos of either coach were hacked as part of the scandal, which was a huge relief to the Palmetto State.  

Spurrier carries an iPhone 5 Black Diamond edition by Stuart Hughes, valued at roughly $16.5 million.  Dabo has an old Poloroid Square Shooter 2 Instant Film Land Camera, vauled at $16.99 on Ebay.  When asked if either of them had ever put any questionable images into “the cloud,” Spurrier said he had not.  Dabo said he didn’t think so  but noted, “Sometimes at night when the flash bulb goes off real bright it gets up there.”