Friday, October 11, 2013

Cockabooster insists it will not be shut down!

Concerns that the Cockabooster would be furloughed due to the Federal Government shutdown were denied vehemently by Cockabooster Junior Vice-President and Head of Paper Stacking Ted Felder.  

Felder said it was deep-seated jealousy and rampant innuendo spouted from his rival site, The TigerSwag, that caused the concern.  “No, we are not going to be affected by what is happening in Washington,” said Felder, who hastily threw together a press conference to address the issue.  “We plan to be right here every week giving our readers the coverage of Gamecock sports that they have come to expect: silly and sarcastic.”  

Ted also addressed the involvement of the Cockabooster’s sister site in Orange.  “Willy Powell is like my little brother.  He looks up to me in awe and admiration, yet he also has a continual grudge.  I think it’s primarily due to my ability to put stacks of coins on my elbow and catch them in my hand.  That and my elegant use of spam in cooking are just too much for him to handle.”  

Felder promises that there will be no interruption. “I made a pledge to provide my readers the least substantive and most ridiculous perspective on all things Carolina.  And if Ron Morris can do it, so will I.  You have my word.”

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