Monday, October 21, 2013

MOO U News: Kirk Herbstreit to Dabo: “I want to see other people”

Short-Lived Romance Ends as Clemson Runs Down the Hill!
A tearful Kirk Herbstreit ended a brief but fierce love affair with Clemson’s Dabo Swinney on Saturday night, saying it was time for them to start seeing other people.  After watching his beloved Clemson Tigers humiliate themselves against FSU, the ABC/ESPN analyst said it was time for the two to part ways.  “Yes, Dabo and Clemson will always be special to me, but the heart wants what the heart wants.  I now love Jimbo Fisher.  It’s not you Dabo.  It’s me.” 

Reports from the locker room/hot tub indicate that Swinney was visibly angry about being replaced as Herbie’s main crush.  “He said he loved me.  He promised to always be with me,” said an emotionally-wrecked Dabo who says he now must pick up the pieces of his shattered love life.  “I made a moron of myself in front of the entire nation so many times to get his attention and now this?  Well to heck with him.  I like Chris Fowler better anyway.” 

Swinney said he was just too upset to say anything else.  The car salesman in the ugly sweatshirts says Herbstreit will regret dumping him and end up listening to lots of 80s rock ballads.  “Yeah, old Herbie will end up listening to ‘Don’t know what you got’ by Cinderella and ‘I remember you’ by Skid Row when this is done.  He’ll come crawling back, don’t you worry.”  

Kirk's New Man-Crush

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