The Cock-a-Booster's Crystal Ball says...

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2011
LAST WEEK'S RECORD (5-2); OVERALL RECORD (14-5) - 73.6% WINNERS

KENTUCKY at GEORGIA

The Frail Felines from Horse Country limp south this weekend, and they’re walking into a very happy Athens Doghouse.  The Red Clay Hounds fell tail-backwards into a title last week thanks to some fortunate scheduling, and they’ll finish the job by declawing the bluegrass cats early and often. The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Georgia by 25.

FURMAN at FLORIDA

The Violet Varlets from Greenville County gallop into Citrus Country this weekend, hoping to run their lances right through the Gainesville Lizards.  The home swampers will be ready for their attack and the Purple Knights will find their stallions hooves stuck in the bog.    The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Florida by 11.

GEORGIA SOUTHERN at ALABAMA

The Blue and Gold Birds from Statesboro will flock away from Sweetheart Circle on Saturday, trying to nest on the Houndstooth Tusks in the Tuscaloosa Elephant Preserve.  Big Al and his Red Herd don’t care for Balding Barnstormers and they should trample out the invasion in short order.   The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Alabama by 28.

SAMFORD at AUBURN

The pretty little village on the plains will open up the local scratching post on Saturday, hoping to neuter some Blue and Red Puppies from the heart of Birmingham.  The Seibert Stadium Kennels would be a much safer locale for these bone diggers and they will wish they had never left.   The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Auburn by 18.

MISSISSIPPI STATE at ARKANSAS

Dan Mullen and his Possum Rag Puppies paw into Bacon-land this weekend, confident of finding some short ribs with an Ozark rub.  Not so fast, say the home hoggies, who have turned into some mean old Boars as the year has progressed.  In the end, it will be the visiting K-9s who are squealing like pigs.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Arkansas by 12.

LSU at OLE MISS

 

The Oxford Chapter of Magolia Gentlemen open up the Vaught-Hemingway Plantation on Saturday, hoping to turn the Bayou Bengals into Fried Green Tomatoes. The Mad Hatter and his yellow kittens have no intention of being served as a shady lawn snack, and will instead turn the home colonels into an original recipe feast.    The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...LSU by 24. 

VANDERBILT at TENNESSEE

The Nashville Know-it-Alls sail their Gold and Black Fleet into Knoxville this weekend, prepared for an all out assault on the Neyland Militia.  The hillbilly brigade and Old Smokey will be lying in wait and have plenty of moonshine in the jug.  But I think the smart sailors get back to Music City with their rudders in tact.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Vanderbilt by 3.

 THE CITADEL at SOUTH CAROLINA

The Pat Conroy Cadets from Charleston County rumble into Columbia this weekend, hoping the local pigskin poultry is still ripe for the taking like their last visit.  The home hens have a louder cluck and thicker plumage this time around, and won’t get thrown into the broaster again.  The Battery Barkers will be howling back down I-26.     The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...South Carolina by 14.

It’s such a good turnaround we don’t even appreciate it (and a middle finger to Jawja)!

Barring a “bluegrass miracle” from Kentucky this weekend, Carolina’s 2011 SEC campaign is done.  Coach Spurrier was dead on when he pointed out that the Athens Alpos got to play Ole Miss while we got to play at Arkansas, and thanks to that scheduling gift, Georgia will likely represent the East in Atlanta.  This is not whining or excuse making, just the system in which we play.  The Gamecocks have gone 9-1 in the East over the last two seasons including two wins each over Georgia, UT and the Gators.  Our lone loss against a division rival in that span was at Kentucky in 2010. 

Add in that we played Georgia in Athens this year and won and it’s clear we have been the class of the division the last two years.  But much like the old days when the ACC hoops tournament chose the lone NCAA tournament rep instead of the entire season, sometimes the better team loses out to a random quirk.  So good luck to you drooling pups, but in the spirit of “The Bad News Bears,” you can take your second place trophy and shove it up….well I will stop there.  But don’t worry, we’ll see you ladies again in Columbia in 2012 where you will enjoy a third straight whipping.  You should start praying now that the schedule saves you again then. 

So we move forward to El Cid, the world’s sexiest aardvarks from the Upstate, and the bowl game.  Before we do, I would be remiss not to take a second to review and enjoy just what a turnaround the Steve Spurrier era has been in the Southeastern Conference for USC.  Start with a quick review of the stats.  In the 13 SEC seasons preceding Spurrier, Carolina was 65-82 overall; 36-67 in the conference; 5-34 against the “Big 3” of UGA, Florida and Tennessee; 0 Division Titles.  Since he arrived in 2005, we have been 52-35 overall, 29-27 in the conference; 10-11 against the “Big 3;” 1 Division Title and our first 6-2 SEC season ever (this year). 

No wonder Spurrier was so emotional yesterday afternoon!  Heck I was too.  (I apologize to the 107.5 host who sat near me with his family yesterday. I am sure the conversation our rows were having there were not exactly Algonquin Roundtable Banter, especially when Clowney and Melvin were getting held so badly that maybe we just need to get them tear-away jerseys.  It was rated “PG-13” at best but I digress…)

So just sit back and soak in those freaking numbers!  I have never failed to hold Gamecock coaches accountable when they need it but COME ON!  This is remarkable stuff and I hope USC fans appreciate just what has been going on at Williams-Brice since 2005.  Let’s use this week to heal up a bit, defeat The Citadel and get ready for the biennial tractor and cow invasion. 

Top 10 signs that Gamecock Fans are worried about the Clemson Game

Darrin Horn
USC Head Basketball Coach
(we think?)

10.  The "there are more important things than a football game" speeches have moved from the Upstate to the Midlands
9.    Finding new and creative ways to rail on Stephen Garcia
8.    Pushing for another even newer baseball stadium
7.    Replacing Dabo Swinney's Ecstacy with Valium
6.    Replacing Steve Spurrier's Valium with Ecstacy
5.    Sanitizing 1988-2004 from the record books
4.    Watching Omaha DVR replays over and over!
3.    Blaming ACC refs now to avoid the rush
2.    Fuming mad because they knew this would happen if a woman became Governor
1.    They are finally having to acknowledge that Darrin Horn exists

At least Carolina is never boring!

Say what you like about the Gamecock football program, but it’s never boring when talking about the Pigskin Poultry Factory at Williams-Brice Stadium.  I can’t decide sometimes if we’re college football’s version of “Days of Our Lives” or “Jerry Springer.”  This is a University whose fan base goes through more ups and downs than First Graders at a Candy Convention.  

I was born in 1971 and have been coherently following Gamecock football since the Carlen era.  I have seen the Rogers years, the Richard Bell disaster of 1982, the Man in Black, Sparky, Brad Scott’s black hole, Dr. Lou and now the Visor. We have been as low as 0-21 and as high as #2 with a legitimate chance to win the national title.  You get the idea…it is a manic roller coaster.  

Fast forward to 2011 and we are still on a bumpy ride full of danger and opportunity.  Take this weekend’s contest against Florida.  A win by the Gamecocks puts us at 8-2 and, assuming we don’t repeat Sparky’s El Cid Error of 1990, we will be 9-2 and in the Top 10 with Clemson coming to town.  Depending on what happens in the poop-filled pigskin kennel in Athens, we may even be SEC East Champs again.  (War Eagle!  But I digress…) Either way, this is a fantastic season for Carolina if we skin the Gators.  Can we all at least agree to that?  

Now if we lose this game, I still think it’s been a pretty good year.  But I would at least understand why the negativity reared its ugly head at that point.  We would still be 8-3 assuming a Citadel win, but there would be no repeat in the East.  Toss in that the Pickens felines are drunk on catnip in the upstate and are rolling into Columbia very loudly on their tractors and orange overalls and yeah I get it.  Coming off a 9-3 year with an East title, and in the context of all the preseason hype we got, I can see being negative then if we must.
 
I will say this.  Regardless of Georgia/Auburn, I would LOVE to see the atmosphere in Columbia if the 10-1 Tiggers come in ranked sixth or seventh to play us when we are 9-2 and ranked ninth or tenth.  The last time the rivalry game had that much meaning was in 1987, when Brad Edwards certified in stone his legacy in Columbia.  The #12 Gamecocks beat #8 Clemson 20-7.  

Since then Carolina vs. Clemson has largely been a battle of three-toed sloths proving who has the least offensive odor.  Both programs being strong nationally and drawing national media attention to South Carolina.  Hmmm, where have we heard that before?  Baseball.  And most folks without the name Teddy Heffner think it can happen in football too.  A great step in that direction?  Carolina beating Florida on Saturday.  

The Cock-a-Booster's Crystal Ball says...

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2011
LAST WEEK'S RECORD (4-3); OVERALL RECORD (9-3)

KENTUCKY at VANDERBILT

Music City will open its Grand Ole Boat Landing on Saturday, hoping to declaw some Royal Blue Cats purring in from Bluegrass Country.  The Brainy Boat Captains have found the Gridiron seas tough to navigate, but they should be able to prevent the visiting Kittens from finding any catnip.    The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Vanderbilt by 6.

TENNESSEE at ARKANSAS

Old Smokey and his mountain militiamen are leaving the Neyland Compound on Saturday, hoping to dig up some pork ribs at the Fayetteville BBQ Pits.  Bobby Petrino and the home hoglets have avoided the cooker most of the fall, and the Knoxville Brigade ain’t got the ammo they need to change that.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Arkansas by 22.

WESTERN KENTUCKY at LSU

The Mountain Folk from Bowling Green leave L. T. Smith Stadium this weekend, hoping Big Red can still up some pigskin moonshine at the Baton Rouge Scratching Post.  The Bayou Bengals are giving themselves a tongue bath this week and may be taking a Cat-nap at Kickoff, but they’ll wake up in time to send the Toppers back to the hills sober.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...LSU by 28.

LOUISIANA TECH at OLE MISS

The Red and Blue K-9s from Creole Country are leaving the Ruston Dogpound this weekend, hoping to bury the Oxford Confederates before mint juleps are served.  It hasn’t been a good week for the Magnolia Colonels, but the pigskin plantation should survive.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Ole Miss by 10.

 

ALABAMA at MISSISSIPPI STATE

Big Al and his Tuscaloosa Herd trample into Starkville this weekend, hoping to take out some frustration on Dan Mullen and his Possum Rag Puppies.  There is never a good time to run into the elegant elephants, but right after a tusk-pulling it really could get ugly.  Go with Houndstooth over the Home Howlers all the way.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Alabama by 20.


 

AUBURN at GEORGIA

Mark Richt and the Athens Alpos have on their shiny collars of late, and they are planning to tear into some visiting felines from out on The Plains.  The War Eagle talons may not pierce as deep as last year’s version, but don’t be surprised if they catch the UGAs asleep in their food dish.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Auburn by 4.

FLORIDA at SOUTH CAROLINA

The Bog Lizards from south of Lake City slither into Richland County this weekend, hoping to chomp down on some Bluff Road Broasters as a lunchtime treat.  The Home Hens got their tailfeathers plucked last week, and are ripe to be thrown into the fire.  The good news is that the visiting reptiles are just as skinned up as they are.   The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...South Carolina by 6.

So, we are 7-2 and unhappy? Sounds good to me!

First let’s review last night’s loss to Arkansas.  The Hogs were the better team, deserved to win and they did. I have seen the “couldas” and “shouldas” lining up on both sides as you would expect.  Could it have been a bigger score if Arkansas doesn’t drop some open passes in the first half?  Yes.  But if you’re going to say that, then acknowledge that the Gamecocks could have won if they make one defensive stop in the second half.  After all, both teams got a non-offensive TD and both teams missed some chances. 

What DID happen is that Arkansas defeated South Carolina 44-28 and Carolina “plummeted” all the way down to…….7-2, still ranked and still alive for the SEC East.  Wait, that’s where this “free-fall disaster” landed us?  Right where most of us had USC before the year started?  Well, most actual Carolina fans had us at 7-2 after 9 games on their preseason prediction list.  I actually had us predicted to be 6-3 at this point.  (Check my facebook page for my preseason calls on the Gamecocks and Tiggers if you are skeptical about this.)

Yes, yes, we were overhyped by the national media before the year started to be more than that.  Largely this was based on three players, two of which who are now not playing.  We also knew that the two positions that could not sustain an injury were offensive line and linebacker.  (Yes, we knew this in the summer.)  We lost our best offensive lineman earlier this year and this week- ahead of the best passing team we have faced- we lose Antonio Allen.  OUCH!  These are not excuses, just the facts ma’am.  To use a very tired cliché, “It is what it is.” 

Arkansas was facing a much weaker and younger defense than we usually field and they took advantage, especially at linebacker.  We couldn’t cover the wheel route or stop the draws underneath our front 4 rush.  We were gashed over the middle three times specifically where Allen would have been. It was a bad night to be facing that good of an offense and we paid the price. 

Yes, yes, Connor Shaw was on the run early and often and made some bad decisions.  Young QBs with thin offensive lines do that sort of thing, but he still had three impressive scoring drives and made some good plays too.  Remember that the mantra all week was that we would not get more than 14 points and we got 21 (plus a really nice pick six from big Devin Taylor). The bottom line is that we scored enough points to win. 

So we have ¼ of the season left to go.  I have to chuckle at anyone who is “unhappy” with the Gamecocks at this point.  We are 7-2, will be ranked in the Top 20 (or 15) and have 3 home games left.  We had a school record win streak on the road snapped Saturday, but ended the season 4-1 away from Williams-Brice Stadium!  With a win over Florida next week, we will have gone 6-2 in the conference this year, our best SEC record ever.  Are we disappointed we lost?  Always.  Did we want an upset of the Hogs?  Sure. But should we be “angry” over where we stand through 9 games?  Heck no! Bring on the Gators!

New feature on the Cock-A-Booster - "THE CRANKSHAFT GAZETTE!"

We have launched a new page on The Cock-a-Booster this morning. It is called The Crankshaft Gazatte (The editor is our own Rusty Crankshaft from Pelion, SC). This is the best and "most-fake-est" news you will find on USC and Clemson sports! Check it out. Just click on the THE CRANKSHAFT NEWS tab at the top. We hope you enjoy it.

"If we are going to poke fun at our Clemson brethren then we have to be able to poke a little fun at ourselves." -- Rusty Crankshaft

Have the roles reversed?

For years and years, I would laugh to myself as almost every Gamecock fan would head into the fall with Arkansas checked as a win.  My “circle” of fellow featherheads isn’t a scientific sample or anything, but it’s a pretty diverse group with positive fans, negative fans and in between.  Perhaps like no other team we face every year, for some reason the Hogs were always assumed to be a win………and we almost always lose to them. 

Arkansas is 12-7 against Carolina since we joined the conference and is favored to make it 13-7 this weekend.  Having said that, unlike the previous 19 years, most USC fans I talk with had this game marked as a loss in August.  And why wouldn’t they?  Arkansas is #7 in the BCS, has a tremendous offense and will be jazzed up in the home trough with a bunch of drunk women “oinking” loudly from the opening kickoff.  The odds are in their favor, no doubt. 

Maybe it’s just my natural tendency to cut against public opinion but for some reason I think we’re going to play well tomorrow night.  Yes, yes, pour on here and blister me if I am wrong but I just have a feeling that we are sandbagging just a bit.  Many times, the piggies have ignored our big talk, quietly come in, whipped our fannies and taken off.  This year, they are the ones doing most of the squealing and we’re unusually quiet. 

Gamecock fans always build up their opponents into super heroes that can’t be touched so I am not talking about that.  The insane hype about that boy in Knoxville was comical and of course ended up being nonsense.  Similarly, on the boards this week Arkansas is now being purported to be the finest collection of athletes to ever walk the earth which is par for the course for Carolina posters.

What isn’t par for the course this year is the undercurrent discussion.  Are the roles reversed in 2011?  Will it be Carolina that has quietly ignored all the bluster about how awesome Arkansas is, and how sure of a loss this is?  Will we go into Fayetteville without any fanfare, take the field and proceed to get a victory, get on the plane and fly home before anyone in the Ozarks realizes their pants have been dropped? 

Go for it Gamecocks.  Disappoint the “Hades” out of 1400 AM, The State and everyone in Athens.  Bring home a victory and let’s get ready for the “home” stretch. 

The Cock-a-Booster's Crystal Ball says...

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2011

LAST WEEK'S RECORD (5-0); OVERALL RECORD (5-0)

UT-MARTIN at MISSISSIPPI STATE

The orange and navy nest at Hardy Graham Stadium will be empty this weekend, as the “North of Humboldt” Hawks fly South, hoping to swoop in for a safe landing at Starkville’s Gridiron Kennels.   The maroon barkers have found themselves leashed early and often this fall, but they’ll find these visiting birds a tasty treat. 
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...Mississippi State by 15.

MTSU at TENNESSEE

The Azul Pirates from Murfreesboro sail their Pigskin Jolly Roger into Knoxville on Saturday, hoping to find the Knoxville Brigade ripe to be plundered.  Derek Dooley’s hillbilly minutemen have been outgunned all year, but they’ll withstand this blue raid with little trouble. 
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...Tennessee by 20.

 

OLE MISS at KENTUCKY

Houston Nutt and his Oxford Soldiers storm into Bluegrass Country this weekend, hoping declawed blue kitten is on the menu.  The home cats are happy to be “hoops eligible” real soon and have used up most of their 9 gridiron lives.  Based on how the fall has gone, it’s hard to pick either team.  
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...Ole Miss by 1.

 

NEW MEXICO STATE at GEORGIA

Pistol Pete and his Las Cruces Cowpokes gallop away from Route 66 this weekend, hoping to lasso some Red Clay Hounds down in the Athens Dog Pound.  Mark Richt and his Sanford Bone-chewers have been howling loudly of late, and they don’t like the idea of being penned in by desert ropers.  
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...Georgia by 25.
 

VANDERBILT at FLORIDA

The Einsteins from Eastern Tennessee sail their pigskin fleet down I-75 this weekend, hoping to wade into the Gainesville Bog without getting death-rolled.  The Ocala Lizards have slithered all over these boats before, and should chomp the Nashville Captains back to Music City when it’s all said and done. 
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...Florida by 6.
 

LSU at ALABAMA

The Mad Hatter and his Baton Rouge Kittens paw into Elephant Land on Saturday night, hoping to capture some Houndstooth Ivory as a pigskin souvenir.  The Tuscaloosa Herd has other ideas, and their red trunks will be swinging for keeps.  The Bayou Bengals have razor sharp claws, but they won’t be able to penetrate the pachyderm’s hides enough at Bryant-Denny.  
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...Alabama by 2.

SOUTH CAROLINA at ARKANSAS

The Garnet Cluckers from Richland County flock west on Saturday, hoping pork is the white meat of choice on the menu at the Fayetteville Trough.  The Ozark Squealers prefer poultry on their grills and think some BBQ’d visor would hit the spot instead.  The pigskin world decided long ago this one would be a plucking, but the Fort Smith Piglets may find the truffle rooting tougher than expected.  
The Cock-a-Booster’s crystal ball says...South Carolina by 5.

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