Friday, August 24, 2012

MOO U News: Chad Morris ready to expand his offense to 72.4%

This is a FAKE story.  Please do not take it too seriously.

Clemson’s Offensive Coordinator, the latest flavor of the month up in Tigger Town chosen to play the role of savior of the Orange Kittens football team, is finally ready to open up more of his genius to the civilized world. Last year, Morris made it clear that only 70% of his playbook was used at Death Valley. That could explain why the Klimpletons were only able to amass 13 points in Columbia.

Clemson Offensive Guru - Chad Morris
To rectify that ugly portion of a horrible season closing, Morris is opening up 2.4% more of his playbook. “Yes, we have a situation where these kids can handle a little more of my brainpower so I am happy to do this. Maybe by the end of the year I can move it up to 76%. We’ll see.” Morris went on to point out that Sammy Watkins, one of 5 preseason Heisman winners in Pickens County this fall, isn’t the best receiver for the Tigers in 2012. That is probably true, as all of the other receivers will not be stoned when they take the field.

Apparently, there is also no truth to the rumor that Dabo Swinney is starting to get jealous of the unearned accolades that Morris is receiving, although Swinney when asked did remind everyone that Clemson beat Virginia Tech last year and that he used to sleep with his Mother.

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