Top Ten signs Clemson is coming to town!

10.            Ron Morris is wearing his good dress to the game

9.                Will Merritt inhaling an extra plate of spare-ribs and pancakes at breakfast every day

8.                Tommy Moody now can ONLY talk about the greatness of Clemson

7.                Fans all over the state doing that annual “fake nice” act to each other

6.                Lou Holtz saying “University of Clem-zon” over and over on ESPN

5.                Spittoons being put in the women’s restrooms for our visitors

4.                Counselors being made available for Tiger fans who don’t realize the Farmers Market has moved

3.                Pete Yannity plotting a hit on Todd Ellis because no one knows who Pete Yannity is.

2.                Steve Spurrier imitating Tommy Bowden and prank-calling Dabo

1.                Parking spaces being realigned to accommodate tractors

Gamecocks and Moo U: Two Peas in a Pod?

South Carolina and Clemson head into this weekend’s rivalry game with a lot more in common than they want to admit.  Both teams have a conference loss that wasn’t really a surprise (Arkansas and GT) and one that was a surprise (Auburn and NC State); both teams have an early conference road win that ended up being the high point of their season (Georgia and Va. Tech); both teams are 9-2 and ranked in the top 20; both teams have had bigger dreams and expectations built and destroyed within the season; both teams go into Saturday with key injuries that have their fans nervous and on the edge. 

So yes, for the short-term issue of “this year’s game” you can see the similarities.  This comparison is also valid when you look past “who wins Saturday” as well.  The Gamecocks and Tigers have both risen to the top of their conference divisions, and based on a quick look at both teams’ depth charts, will return between 14-16 starters each for 2012. 

USC and Clemson fans should make peace with the reality that both programs are improving and will be good for a while.  If you’re breathing into a paper bag or sticking your fingers in your ears denying this fact, that’s a shame because the benefits to the state in having two top-level football programs far outweigh other considerations. 

If you don’t agree with me then please take a look at the state of baseball in South Carolina.  Run the statistics over the last decade and you will find that the Roosters and Tiggers are two of the nation’s elite programs.  This blog intends to pick on Jack Leggett mercilessly (and we will), and we would be fine with Emperor status for Ray Tanner.   Nevertheless, both teams have earned national status and respect and the rivalry has only gotten more focused and fun as a result.  Can you imagine that feeling only 1000 times more intense and energized?  That is where the rivalry is headed on the gridiron. 

Of course there is a premise among a lot of local media folks that the state of South Carolina isn’t “big enough” to handle two big, successful football programs due to our numbers.  Hogwash!  The key is keeping more and more of our high profile recruits from leaving the state and that is happening now.  The rampant “poaching” of our big-name kids by out of state schools used to be the rule, not the exception.  As USC and Clemson continue to grow that closing of the borders will continue as well. 

The BCS rankings for this week have Clemson at #17 and Carolina at #12.  The scene will be rowdy and wild on Saturday night in Columbia just like it was in 1987 when the two schools were #8 and #12 respectively.  Unlike that night a quarter of a century ago, you get the feeling that the rise of the Garnet and Orange is more “long-term” this time around.  Go Gamecocks!  

BREAKING NEWS: Coach Holtz previews upcoming USC & Clemson game...

If link above does not work click here.

IF YOU CANNOT HEAR THE AUDIO FILE...(here is the text):

Cock-A-Booster:   It is my pleasure to welcome in legendary former Gamecock Coach Lou Holtz to preview the upcoming rivalry game between Carolina and Clemson.  How you doing Coach? 

Lou:    That is personal Ted and I would appreciate you minding your own business. 

Cock-A-Booster:    Coach, you were involved in many rivalries over the years.  How does Carolina-Clemson rank in your mind?

Lou:    The University of Clemzon was always “rank.”  So much so I had to wear a filter over my nose to handle the odor.  You know that methane can be used for fuel now. 

Cock-A-Booster:    No, Coach I mean do you think the rivalry gets overheated sometimes?

Lou:     Well, Ted this is the Deep South.  You looking for penguins or something?

Cock-A-Booster:    Coach, who wins this year’s game, the Gamecocks or the Tigers?

Lou:   Well the real winners are always the good folks at Carolina Pride Hot Dogs.  Every bite is a touchdown strike with The Pride. 

Cock-A-Booster:    Okay Coach but which team will score more points next week?

Lou:    Notre Dame.

Cock-A-Booster:    Out of Carolina and Clemson Coach? 

Lou:    I don’t think either one of them is playing Notre Dame.  You really should do some research. 

Cock-A-Booster:   Coach is there anything you would like to say about the Gamecocks and Tigers. 

Lou:    Mark May is an idiot.  Just a true moron.  That’s all I have to say about that.

Cock-A-Booster:   That’s all the time we have today.  Join us next time when Coach Holtz will preview the bowl games and preview SEC basketball.

Lou:    They play basketball in the SEC? 

Time to address the Bouncing Garnet Elephant in the Corner

I will be 100% focused on the upcoming visit by Moo U’s Copenhagen Crowd next week, but for today I have to say a few words about our hoops situation. South Carolina is the worst basketball team within one of the worst basketball conferences in the country. That is not hyperbole or said for shock value. It is a fact and one that is rising like the Phoenix. The Elon Phoenix apparently. Carolina is the only “major” conference basketball program in the nation I know of with a road losing streak of more than 1 to the Southern Conference.

The problem is that statistic by itself doesn’t illustrate how bad we are in basketball. I haven’t done the research to back this up but I am confident that these statements will stand up to scrutiny:

• We are the only member of the SEC who has not sent a team to the Sweet 16 in the last 20 years.
• We are one of only a handful of schools from a major conference who hasn’t won an NCAA tournament game since 1973. 
• We have 1 conference winning season since I got engaged in 1998. 
• We have been to the NCAA tournament 2, maybe 3 times tops since I graduated from high school in 1989.

You get the idea- we stink. Why the heck did we get rid of the old Coliseum? Certainly the lighting needed an upgrade and some other minor tweaks could have given it a facelift, but those weren’t the bill of goods we were sold as to why we had to have the new arena. We were told that a new arena would allow us to host NCAA tournament games, Disney Ice Shows and Concerts. I will concede that the concerts and ice shows for the most part have happened, but thanks to the confederate flag we have never gotten an NCAA tournament game and in my opinion it has done NOTHING for our basketball programs. Nothing, nada, zilch.

So we are stuck with this empty tomb and a team that maybe could compete for a top seed in the Southern Conference in most years. That doesn’t fly with what we were promised to give up an iconic, historical home-court advantage at Frank McGuire Arena. For folks like my parents, who were self-described “Frank McGuire Groupies” during that heyday in hoops, it’s frankly an insult to that legacy.

Just like leaving the ACC was a choice we made that killed that program, so too was the choice to get rid of the House that Frank Built for a corporate nightmare of an empty building. But we are where we are and that is rock bottom. After North Carolina, Ohio State, Kentucky and others are finished shredding us into a pulp this year, the time will come to clean house, pick up the pieces and move forward. Maybe then we can start beating Wofford, Elon and Furman again.

Pretty Good YouTube Clip by Justin King...

The Cock-a-Booster's Crystal Ball says...

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2011
LAST WEEK'S RECORD (5-2); OVERALL RECORD (14-5) - 73.6% WINNERS

KENTUCKY at GEORGIA

The Frail Felines from Horse Country limp south this weekend, and they’re walking into a very happy Athens Doghouse.  The Red Clay Hounds fell tail-backwards into a title last week thanks to some fortunate scheduling, and they’ll finish the job by declawing the bluegrass cats early and often. The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Georgia by 25.

FURMAN at FLORIDA

The Violet Varlets from Greenville County gallop into Citrus Country this weekend, hoping to run their lances right through the Gainesville Lizards.  The home swampers will be ready for their attack and the Purple Knights will find their stallions hooves stuck in the bog.    The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Florida by 11.

GEORGIA SOUTHERN at ALABAMA

The Blue and Gold Birds from Statesboro will flock away from Sweetheart Circle on Saturday, trying to nest on the Houndstooth Tusks in the Tuscaloosa Elephant Preserve.  Big Al and his Red Herd don’t care for Balding Barnstormers and they should trample out the invasion in short order.   The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Alabama by 28.

SAMFORD at AUBURN

The pretty little village on the plains will open up the local scratching post on Saturday, hoping to neuter some Blue and Red Puppies from the heart of Birmingham.  The Seibert Stadium Kennels would be a much safer locale for these bone diggers and they will wish they had never left.   The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Auburn by 18.

MISSISSIPPI STATE at ARKANSAS

Dan Mullen and his Possum Rag Puppies paw into Bacon-land this weekend, confident of finding some short ribs with an Ozark rub.  Not so fast, say the home hoggies, who have turned into some mean old Boars as the year has progressed.  In the end, it will be the visiting K-9s who are squealing like pigs.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Arkansas by 12.

LSU at OLE MISS

 

The Oxford Chapter of Magolia Gentlemen open up the Vaught-Hemingway Plantation on Saturday, hoping to turn the Bayou Bengals into Fried Green Tomatoes. The Mad Hatter and his yellow kittens have no intention of being served as a shady lawn snack, and will instead turn the home colonels into an original recipe feast.    The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...LSU by 24. 

VANDERBILT at TENNESSEE

The Nashville Know-it-Alls sail their Gold and Black Fleet into Knoxville this weekend, prepared for an all out assault on the Neyland Militia.  The hillbilly brigade and Old Smokey will be lying in wait and have plenty of moonshine in the jug.  But I think the smart sailors get back to Music City with their rudders in tact.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Vanderbilt by 3.

 THE CITADEL at SOUTH CAROLINA

The Pat Conroy Cadets from Charleston County rumble into Columbia this weekend, hoping the local pigskin poultry is still ripe for the taking like their last visit.  The home hens have a louder cluck and thicker plumage this time around, and won’t get thrown into the broaster again.  The Battery Barkers will be howling back down I-26.     The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...South Carolina by 14.

It’s such a good turnaround we don’t even appreciate it (and a middle finger to Jawja)!

Barring a “bluegrass miracle” from Kentucky this weekend, Carolina’s 2011 SEC campaign is done.  Coach Spurrier was dead on when he pointed out that the Athens Alpos got to play Ole Miss while we got to play at Arkansas, and thanks to that scheduling gift, Georgia will likely represent the East in Atlanta.  This is not whining or excuse making, just the system in which we play.  The Gamecocks have gone 9-1 in the East over the last two seasons including two wins each over Georgia, UT and the Gators.  Our lone loss against a division rival in that span was at Kentucky in 2010. 

Add in that we played Georgia in Athens this year and won and it’s clear we have been the class of the division the last two years.  But much like the old days when the ACC hoops tournament chose the lone NCAA tournament rep instead of the entire season, sometimes the better team loses out to a random quirk.  So good luck to you drooling pups, but in the spirit of “The Bad News Bears,” you can take your second place trophy and shove it up….well I will stop there.  But don’t worry, we’ll see you ladies again in Columbia in 2012 where you will enjoy a third straight whipping.  You should start praying now that the schedule saves you again then. 

So we move forward to El Cid, the world’s sexiest aardvarks from the Upstate, and the bowl game.  Before we do, I would be remiss not to take a second to review and enjoy just what a turnaround the Steve Spurrier era has been in the Southeastern Conference for USC.  Start with a quick review of the stats.  In the 13 SEC seasons preceding Spurrier, Carolina was 65-82 overall; 36-67 in the conference; 5-34 against the “Big 3” of UGA, Florida and Tennessee; 0 Division Titles.  Since he arrived in 2005, we have been 52-35 overall, 29-27 in the conference; 10-11 against the “Big 3;” 1 Division Title and our first 6-2 SEC season ever (this year). 

No wonder Spurrier was so emotional yesterday afternoon!  Heck I was too.  (I apologize to the 107.5 host who sat near me with his family yesterday. I am sure the conversation our rows were having there were not exactly Algonquin Roundtable Banter, especially when Clowney and Melvin were getting held so badly that maybe we just need to get them tear-away jerseys.  It was rated “PG-13” at best but I digress…)

So just sit back and soak in those freaking numbers!  I have never failed to hold Gamecock coaches accountable when they need it but COME ON!  This is remarkable stuff and I hope USC fans appreciate just what has been going on at Williams-Brice since 2005.  Let’s use this week to heal up a bit, defeat The Citadel and get ready for the biennial tractor and cow invasion. 

Top 10 signs that Gamecock Fans are worried about the Clemson Game

Darrin Horn
USC Head Basketball Coach
(we think?)

10.  The "there are more important things than a football game" speeches have moved from the Upstate to the Midlands
9.    Finding new and creative ways to rail on Stephen Garcia
8.    Pushing for another even newer baseball stadium
7.    Replacing Dabo Swinney's Ecstacy with Valium
6.    Replacing Steve Spurrier's Valium with Ecstacy
5.    Sanitizing 1988-2004 from the record books
4.    Watching Omaha DVR replays over and over!
3.    Blaming ACC refs now to avoid the rush
2.    Fuming mad because they knew this would happen if a woman became Governor
1.    They are finally having to acknowledge that Darrin Horn exists

At least Carolina is never boring!

Say what you like about the Gamecock football program, but it’s never boring when talking about the Pigskin Poultry Factory at Williams-Brice Stadium.  I can’t decide sometimes if we’re college football’s version of “Days of Our Lives” or “Jerry Springer.”  This is a University whose fan base goes through more ups and downs than First Graders at a Candy Convention.  

I was born in 1971 and have been coherently following Gamecock football since the Carlen era.  I have seen the Rogers years, the Richard Bell disaster of 1982, the Man in Black, Sparky, Brad Scott’s black hole, Dr. Lou and now the Visor. We have been as low as 0-21 and as high as #2 with a legitimate chance to win the national title.  You get the idea…it is a manic roller coaster.  

Fast forward to 2011 and we are still on a bumpy ride full of danger and opportunity.  Take this weekend’s contest against Florida.  A win by the Gamecocks puts us at 8-2 and, assuming we don’t repeat Sparky’s El Cid Error of 1990, we will be 9-2 and in the Top 10 with Clemson coming to town.  Depending on what happens in the poop-filled pigskin kennel in Athens, we may even be SEC East Champs again.  (War Eagle!  But I digress…) Either way, this is a fantastic season for Carolina if we skin the Gators.  Can we all at least agree to that?  

Now if we lose this game, I still think it’s been a pretty good year.  But I would at least understand why the negativity reared its ugly head at that point.  We would still be 8-3 assuming a Citadel win, but there would be no repeat in the East.  Toss in that the Pickens felines are drunk on catnip in the upstate and are rolling into Columbia very loudly on their tractors and orange overalls and yeah I get it.  Coming off a 9-3 year with an East title, and in the context of all the preseason hype we got, I can see being negative then if we must.
 
I will say this.  Regardless of Georgia/Auburn, I would LOVE to see the atmosphere in Columbia if the 10-1 Tiggers come in ranked sixth or seventh to play us when we are 9-2 and ranked ninth or tenth.  The last time the rivalry game had that much meaning was in 1987, when Brad Edwards certified in stone his legacy in Columbia.  The #12 Gamecocks beat #8 Clemson 20-7.  

Since then Carolina vs. Clemson has largely been a battle of three-toed sloths proving who has the least offensive odor.  Both programs being strong nationally and drawing national media attention to South Carolina.  Hmmm, where have we heard that before?  Baseball.  And most folks without the name Teddy Heffner think it can happen in football too.  A great step in that direction?  Carolina beating Florida on Saturday.  

The Cock-a-Booster's Crystal Ball says...

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2011
LAST WEEK'S RECORD (4-3); OVERALL RECORD (9-3)

KENTUCKY at VANDERBILT

Music City will open its Grand Ole Boat Landing on Saturday, hoping to declaw some Royal Blue Cats purring in from Bluegrass Country.  The Brainy Boat Captains have found the Gridiron seas tough to navigate, but they should be able to prevent the visiting Kittens from finding any catnip.    The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Vanderbilt by 6.

TENNESSEE at ARKANSAS

Old Smokey and his mountain militiamen are leaving the Neyland Compound on Saturday, hoping to dig up some pork ribs at the Fayetteville BBQ Pits.  Bobby Petrino and the home hoglets have avoided the cooker most of the fall, and the Knoxville Brigade ain’t got the ammo they need to change that.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Arkansas by 22.

WESTERN KENTUCKY at LSU

The Mountain Folk from Bowling Green leave L. T. Smith Stadium this weekend, hoping Big Red can still up some pigskin moonshine at the Baton Rouge Scratching Post.  The Bayou Bengals are giving themselves a tongue bath this week and may be taking a Cat-nap at Kickoff, but they’ll wake up in time to send the Toppers back to the hills sober.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...LSU by 28.

LOUISIANA TECH at OLE MISS

The Red and Blue K-9s from Creole Country are leaving the Ruston Dogpound this weekend, hoping to bury the Oxford Confederates before mint juleps are served.  It hasn’t been a good week for the Magnolia Colonels, but the pigskin plantation should survive.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Ole Miss by 10.

 

ALABAMA at MISSISSIPPI STATE

Big Al and his Tuscaloosa Herd trample into Starkville this weekend, hoping to take out some frustration on Dan Mullen and his Possum Rag Puppies.  There is never a good time to run into the elegant elephants, but right after a tusk-pulling it really could get ugly.  Go with Houndstooth over the Home Howlers all the way.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Alabama by 20.


 

AUBURN at GEORGIA

Mark Richt and the Athens Alpos have on their shiny collars of late, and they are planning to tear into some visiting felines from out on The Plains.  The War Eagle talons may not pierce as deep as last year’s version, but don’t be surprised if they catch the UGAs asleep in their food dish.  The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...Auburn by 4.

FLORIDA at SOUTH CAROLINA

The Bog Lizards from south of Lake City slither into Richland County this weekend, hoping to chomp down on some Bluff Road Broasters as a lunchtime treat.  The Home Hens got their tailfeathers plucked last week, and are ripe to be thrown into the fire.  The good news is that the visiting reptiles are just as skinned up as they are.   The Cockabooster’s crystal ball says...South Carolina by 6.