MOO U News: Clemson tired of sexism charges, adds three new women’s sports

THIS IS A "FAKE" STORY - DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS!

AUTHOR: RUSTY CRANKSHAFT --

Clemson University’s Athletics Department has bristled at recent charges that it is a sexist institution that only cares about male sports, and the Tigers are taking action to correct the myth.  “We think the best way to stop all this talk about us being bad to these dames is to expand their opportunities,” said Clemson AD Terry Don Phillips.  “Maybe then these hens will stop their dadgum clucking!”  

The upstate university has come under fire in recent years for lacking some basic women’s sports including softball.  As a result, the Tigers will be adding three new options for female sports in an attempt to get more scholarships into their hands:  Foxy Boxing, Mud Wrestling and Swimsuit Modeling.  

Regular Cockabooster contributor and Belton resident Monty Bennett, aka “Tiger Paw Pete,” says Clemson has much to offer young girls looking for an education.  “We got a ton of hot chicks up here with great racks and they should be able to show them off in an academic way.  Never let it be said that a tomato with a great set of melons can’t wear tight jerseys and play sports at Clemson.”