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THIS IS A "FAKE" STORY - DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS! |
AUTHOR: RUSTY CRANKSHAFT --
The radio announcer for the West Virginia Mountaineers, Tony Caridi, said on a sports show last week that Clemson and West Virginia hadn’t played each other in over two decades since meeting in a bowl game in 1989. In response, Clemson’s psychotic football coach immediately attributed the quote to Mountaineer Head Coach Dana Holgorsen and went on a rant about the two programs’ histories.
“He’s right! That’s what I would tell Dana although I am disappointed to hear him say that. The two teams haven’t played in a while, and no upcoming bowl game is going to change that. My children and grandchildren won’t live to see the day when we do play them on a regular basis. If he wants to say we don’t play that much that’s fine but I am going to stick up for my team. That’s why everyone means West Vancouver University when they say WVU and Appalachian State when they say Mountaineers.” When it was pointed out to Swinney that Holgorsen hadn’t actually said the “offensive” quote, Swinney remained defiant and red-faced. “I haven’t heard any retractions!” Dabo shot us the bird when we pointed out that it was impossible to retract a statement that someone had not made. “Tweet that” was the closest thing we could get to a coherent response.
In other Yabo Dabo Doo Doo news, the Tiger football Coach has completely lost it about a letter that supposedly was mailed to Swinney from a random West Virginia fan ahead of the bowl game. No one has actually seen the letter, and the text in it mysteriously changes everytime the coach talks about it. But it gave him a chance to go off on one of his patented tirades and gin up the fan base. This latest media stunt was needed due to the poor ticket sales to the Orange Bowl, which was a worst case draw for the host game.
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