MOO U News: Jack Leggett turns to “Dabo” to help distract his fans

This is not a true story...Please do not take it too serious!

 



AUTHOR: RUSTY CRANKSHAFT --

Currently sitting with a mediocre record of 26-19 and 14-10 in the unusually weak ACC, Clemson’s Jack Leggett knew he needed to do something and quick.  After all, his program is at best in a rut, the Gamecocks whipped his team yet again this year and sit in the Top 5, and Clemson is likely on the road for the regionals this summer.  

What do you do if you’re a Tiger coach in that situation?  Leggett decided to reach out to the resident expert on such distractions in Pickens County, A. Little Dab-o-Swinney.  “I told Jack he needed to make up a strange quote and just pretend that Ray Tanner said it.  Then come up with a simple-to-grasp two or three word catch phrase that the fans can cling to.  It won’t mean anything but they’ll forget about the results on the field.”  

Leggett has moved forward on the plan, this week saying he was offended that Ray Tanner had referred to him as both a loser and a “danish-eating communist who smells like a motherless wart hog.”  

When reached in Columbia and asked if he had any comment, Tanner denied saying anything about Leggett’s political views or his aroma.  “I’m not sure where Jack got that.  If you had to pin me down about his scent I actually would have said he was an Aqua Velva man but I really don’t know.”  Leggett says Tanner’s denial and refusal to disassociate himself from the comment proves he said it.  

Leggett went on to say that the Gamecocks can bring it on because he and his program are “Shovel Ready!”  When asked exactly what the new catch phrase was supposed to mean, Leggett shook his head and said that the Clemson fans are good with it.  “Ask anyone in orange, son.  Shovel Ready--2012 baby!!”