Friday, September 14, 2012

MOO U News: Dabo “Rev. Septober” Swinney: Clemson fans will still be the most delusional!

This is a FAKE story.  Please do not take it too seriously.

Notre Dame announced it would be moving to the ACC this week, which prompted concern amongst the national media that The Tigers would no longer be the most delusional fan base in the conference.  As a result, Clemson’s Fruit-Loop-in-Chief and head Football Coach Dabo Swinney held an impromptu press conference. Swinney, who has been dubbed “Rev. Septober” for his early season success/late season flops and bizarre public rants, made it clear no one could “out-Cuckoo” him.  

“Here at Clemson we take great pride in pretending that it is still 1982 and that is not about to change just because some drunk Midwesterners show up with clovers on their hats,” said Swinney, who pointed out that Clemson has been in denial much longer than South Bend.  “Shoot, they won a national title in 1988, well after we purchased ours.  As long we keep ‘pulling a Clemson’ every year everything will be fine.”  

Rev. Septober went on to add that there are some folks that actually respect Notre Dame’s coach and that they aren’t really joining in football anyway.  “Look, I like Coach Holtz and the job he is doing up there but he spends way to much time on ESPN and not enough time on the sidelines.”  When a reporter pointed out that Holtz no longer coaches there, Dabo shot him the bird and stormed off the set.  He did return briefly to say his extended finger was intended in the most biblical of contexts. 

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