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| THIS IS A "FAKE" STORY - DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS! |
AUTHOR: RUSTY CRANKSHAFT --
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| Ted Felder |
Ted Felder of “The Cockabooster” is under heavy fire this week, having broken a promise to move on from the subject of Dabo Swinney after Clemson’s humiliating bowl loss. Felder acknowledges the blog has hit Dabo several times since the end of football season, but he says he just couldn’t help himself. “I had no idea Yabo Dabo would keep doing and saying stupid things after getting shellacked by West Virginia and South Carolina. I assumed he would want to slip quietly into the offseason for a fresh round of shock treatments. Instead, he just keeps giving me gold that I cannot ignore.”
When asked if he would like to make a new pledge to the readers of the Cockabooster, Felder agreed and offered a compromise pledge. “I will stop making fun of Dabo as soon as he quits acting like an idiot. I don’t think he will be able to resist keeping himself in the media though. He just keeps on coming back just when you think he’s gone.”
In that spirit, the new theme song for Dabo Swinney on the Cockabooster will be Dolly Parton’s “Here You Come Again.” Every time Dabo re-emerges in the offseason with a fresh batch of goofy behavior, a clip of this song will be included in the story. “Yes, there is no bigger boob in the world than Coach Swinney so a Dolly Parton song as his theme is appropriate,” said Felder who hopes the controversy is now put to rest.
(NEW DABO SWINNEY THEME SONG!)
WOW TED THE GYM IS EALLY WORKING FOR YOU. DOLLY ROCKS.
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